One man’s voice

Yesterday on my way to work I was unavoidably made tardy by the wonderful folks at BART. Apparently they had a hard time keeping their own schedule yesterday. This resulted in the train I take to Oakland not meeting up with the train I take from Oakland to get to Concord. The best part of it is though that we actually did meet our train. But were not able to keep up with it through the three transfer stations.

This is how it transpired… as we approached 12th street the operator began his message about transfers and the what not. Then he said “Pittsburg/Bay Point riders please stay on this train and transfer at MacArthur”. Seemed reasonable enough at the time, but as we began to leave the station the transfer train showed up. So our train stopped and the operator broadcast “Um, I don’t know what they are telling me.” Then the transfer train, which usually waits a little while, closed its doors and left. So we did the same thing.

At 19th street, the second of the transfer stations on my trip, as we arrived, the transfer train was taking off. Still not the end of the world I thought, since there is always MacArthur. But…

When we got to MacArthur there was no transfer train. It had just left. And now I had to wait 15 minutes for the next train.

So BART, is there just the tiniest chance that somewhere in your grand grid of schedules and the what not that something went mildly wrong today? Just asking, seeing as you cost me a lot more than just 15 minutes.

This morning, when my son woke up and after he told mom good morning, he sought me out. He had something to give me. And as he stepped down the hallway with purpose and authority I heard him call out to me.

“Daddy, I have a pwesent fow you.”

“What is it son?”

“It’s a hug and a kiss. I love you daddy.”

And with that he jumped into my arms and hugged me as big as his big boy arms could hug a dad of my size.

I’m certain he doesn’t know how much he touched my heart this morning, or how good of a day he gave me today. But hopefully I can share this with him so that he can look forward to those moments with his kids. I am a truly blessed father.

In about an hour the California Supreme Court will render its ruling on the constitutionality of Proposition 8, the state ballot measure that amended the California Constitution to clearly define marriage as being between a man and a woman. The history of this topic goes back a long way, but the voting history of this issue is still relatively young, having first appeared as Proposition 22 in the 2000 election. In that election the state of California voted almost 2-1 in favor of defining marriage as being between a man and a woman.

After several lawsuits and lengthy court battles the California Supreme Court, seven justices to be exact, ruled that the vote of the people wasn’t sufficient and invalidated the vote stating the results of the measure were unconstitutional. Within a matter of months the exact same ballot measure was on the ballot again, this time as an amendment to the California constitution, in the form of Proposition 8. And again the state of California passed the measure.

No sooner had the state spoken on the matter of homosexual marriage for the second time than the opponents to Prop 8 has the legal filings ready. Literally the day after voting day law suits were being filed on the matter. Ultimately the issue was taken up again with the Supreme Court and today the results of the deliberations of the arguments for and against Proposition 8 will be made public. At stake are whether Proposition 8 is legal based on its status as an amendment AND whether all of the marriages performed during the few months when Prop 22 was reversed will still be recognized by the state of California as legal marriages.

At the end of day all I can muster up on this subject now is that regardless of the outcome I will still hold fast to my belief that marriage is between a man and a woman. I know that this line of thinking is not popular in today’s world and that conservative political views being broadcast over liberal media channels like television, radio and the Internet generally leads to bashing, slamming and the attacking of liberals asking the question “how can you think that way?”. And while I could easily ask that question of my liberal friends who believe homosexual marriage is perfectly acceptable, I won’t.

They have their reasons for believing the way they do and I have mine. I don’t hold their opinions or beliefs against them and I don’t find it cause enough to call them names like “closed-minded”, “intolerant” or “ignorant”. No, in fact I value differences of opinion between mine and others. It stimulates conversation and opens the door to communication between people of differing beliefs.

I have stated more than once my opposition to homosexual marriage. That hasn’t changed. I don’t believe it is about equality or there would be a stronger push for marriage rights for children, inter-familial marriages and marriages among people already married. I don’t believe sexual preference should be the basis for minority status any more than religious belief should so the case that denying the observance of homosexual marriage is discriminatory really doesn’t make sense to me (though legally it does since California does see homosexuals as a minority). No, I think this has more to do with a group of people wanting something that someone told them they couldn’t have and as a result that group of people have done all they can to get what they feel they deserve. More power to them. If I wanted something that someone said I couldn’t have I would probably go crazy trying to get it anyway I could, too.

Perhaps one day when crazy Christians, Jews, Muslims and Scientologists fight for their status as a minority and start trying to get laws passed specifically for their minority group it will become clear what some people that oppose homosexual marriage feel. Perhaps not. But as I have said before, I will not hate you or condemn you for your belief. To the contrary, I welcome your opinion and hope that it can open a dialog between opposing sides, opposing view points and opposing political beliefs so that we as a people can be brought together, even in opposition, rather than being torn asunder because of our beliefs.

The barbecues are probably hot and the meat is probably marinading as the day pushes forward into the afternoon and evening. The celebration and revelry will be abundant today for sure. But as we fellowship around the fire, sipping wine and scarfing down the grilled meat, it might be a good idea to reflect on why we have today off of work and why we are enjoying this time with our friends and family.

To all families and people who have lost loved ones on the battlefield, today my thoughts and prayers go out to you. But even though today is a day set aside to remember those that have paid the ultimate sacrifice in war it is my belief that we should not wait an entire year to remember our heroes.

For families who have lost loved ones there isn’t a day that goes by in which they don’t think about that person. And while the pain of loss, and the memory of loved ones lost, does diminish over time remembering our loved ones is important. So today think about those who have laid down their lives in the service of their countries and remember those they have left behind. And throughout the year try to keep in mind that for some families memorial day is every day.

Every day men and women around the world offer their lives in service to the United States and her allies. Every day they should be remembered.

I took my kids to my sister’s house to today to celebrate my nephew’s birthday. As is usually the case, the kids have a tendency to run about the house playing and the adults mingle around the living room, the kitchen or the garage talking, drinking and otherwise being adults.

During the adult talks the subject of my cheapness and my waiting a few extra weeks between haircuts came up. Sure enough I discovered that I have a barber in my family. My cousin Nick, while not formally trained, has been cutting the cousins’ hair for a while now and offered to cut my hair for me for free. I thought seriously about his offer since $11 for my haircut and $9 for my son’s haircut is such a huge price to pay but was a tad hesitant after smelling the alcohol that was floating in his very large cup. I told him I would think about it and paid no more attention to it.

A little bit before I was ready to leave my brother-in-law and my cousin set up the barber shop for me without telling anyone. Soon afterward the taunting and teasing and peer pressure kicked in and it wasn’t long before both my son and I went under the blade of my cousin’s crafty hand. The end result for me? Have a look:

I haven't been this short since I was 12

Man I wanted to barbecue today. I have been waiting all week to get my grill on and when the morning came I got all kinds of excited at the prospect of eating seared and seasoned beef cooked over an open fire. Apparently the weather had different plans.

The day started out gloomy and cold, but I have seen that before and was holding out hope that I could actually end up BBQing later in the day. But the stupid fog bank never lifted and I ended up spending the entire day wanting grilled meat and getting nothing at all resembling grilled meat. Crap.

And no, I can’t grill tomorrow because I will be at a party all day for my nephew. So Monday better be my day for grilling because Memorial Day weekend just isn’t the same without some fired up meat.

On the first day He was betrayed, brought before the religious leaders of the day and stood before those that hated him, accused of committing crimes that He did not commit. He did not defend himself against His accusers and did not hold them in contempt. He knew what He had to do and what He had to endure to bring to completion His mission. For His resolve He was forsaken, lied about, teased, mocked, beaten, humiliated, spat on, cursed, laughed and murdered. On the first day He died.

On the second day, while in the tomb prepared for Him, He battled against the enemies of God, taking back those that had gone before He had come. On a mission, He didn’t waver and kept the commandment given Him by His father. On the second day He battled.

On the third He did something He promised He would do yet none gave Him the slightest chance of accomplishing - He conquered death, rose from the grave and took back the dominion man had given Satan over us. He took His place as the resurrected son of the most high God and began the last events in His ministry that would ever see Him in person. On the third day, He rose again, conquered death and brought victory to all those that would call Him savior.

As we enjoy the festivities on this day - the candy, the bunnies, the eggs, the color, the food, the family, the friendship and the fellowship - I pray that we remember that today is a celebration of life, rebirth, grace and victory. Christ died for all.

Yes, all, the whole of humanity. Saint and sinner alike. Actually, mostly for the sinner since all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. He died for the murderer, the cheater, the adulterer, the fornicator, the liar, the thief, the blasphemer, the rapist. He died for the man that cannot control his eye or his mouth. He died for the woman that has sexual inclination for another woman. He died for the disobedient child and the rebellious parent. He died for mankind, so that through His shed blood we could be cleansed of our sin and once again be able to fellowship directly with God the father.

Through grace we have been saved by faith. Faith that Christ was born of a virgin as the only begotten son of the living God. Faith that He walked the Earth as a man. Faith that He was betrayed and crucified. And faith that He ultimately rose again on the third day.

There is no earning salvation. There are no prerequisites to it either. The person that you are right now, the success or the failure, the dirty or the clean, the broken or the complete… you are exactly who Christ died for. Because God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whoever believes in Him would not perish but have everlasting life.

Even if you are not a Christian or are resistant to the message of love that embodies who Christ is, my prayer today is that you remember why we celebrate the day we celebrate today. May God bless you, whoever and wherever you are.

Today my wife needed a break badly. She has been without one for a while and asked me a couple of days ago whether last night would be alright for her to go out and have some “her” time. Last night did not exactly happen for her, but today did, so I gave her that time and decided I would spend some time taking the kids for a walk to get slushies because the kids really love doing that, generally it doesn’t cost too much and it usually wears the kids out and makes for an excellent quiet time when we get home.

Quick tip for the husbands: Your wife needs a break. Whether she tells you or not is irrelevant. Give her a break frequently. She needs it and she will be very appreciative of your thoughtfulness toward her. And even if she isn’t, you should do it anyway.

Quick tip for the fathers: Your kids need to get out the house. They need to blow off steam and they totally need to do that with their dads. This is not to say that they cannot get that with their moms. In fact kids need mom time too. But dad time is crucial, so if you have kids make time for them doing something you all can enjoy together.

So we set off on a walk, the six of us, to the 7-11 just down the street from us. The weather was nice, a little chilly but sunny, so the walk was pleasant right off the pop. We hit up 7-11 and grabbed slushies for all of us - well I prefer coffee so I did that instead - and a couple of bags of chips to snack on. Then we headed out to the front of the store to kick it and snack.

But that is something we always do, so I decided we would change things up a bit so instead of sitting out in front of the store we walked a little bit further to Mission Boulevard where we found a bench and sat on it, snacking and slurping and watching the cars pass us by. This is what it might have looked at from the cars’ perspective:

After our snack time and car watching was over was decided to cross the street and check out Mission San Jose. It wasn’t until we got there that we realized it was going to cost more money that I brought with us so we just sort of hung around the outside and checked out as much as we could without spending any money doing it.

After a short while we decided to start the walk home with a planned stop at the Olive Hyde Art Gallery. This ended up being a much shorter trip than I wanted it to be seeing as the gallery was displaying quilts and artwork that ran as high as $10,000. If not for the fact that four of my kids suddenly had to go to the bathroom at the gallery we would have only been there for a couple of minutes. In fact we were there for almost a half hour.

After that we took a slow stroll home and ended our two hour walk by coming home and resting. So when Sandi got home from her alone time she was able to come home to a quiet, resting house. Now how could this day have gotten any better?

Think BBQ. I know I am.

The Bernese Mountain Puppy

For a long while now the kids have been really leaning on me to get a dog. For the same amount of time I have loudly voiced my opposition to this idea. It is my opinion that before we bring another life into our family our entire family needs to learn how to be responsible enough to handle the things that we already have.

That means making sure to put stuff away when we are done using them, doing homework on time, going to sleep and waking up on time, treating others with respect and being obedient. And this is something that has, for the time they have wanted a dog, been a severe stumbling block for them. So getting a dog has remained pretty well out of reach for our family.

Until now. It seems that my wife has gotten the puppy bug pretty bad over the last month or so and has been pushing on the kids to get a grip on their responsibilities. And over the last month the notion of us getting a puppy has moved from being just a notion to being a full on possibility because mom is behind it now.

And me being the husband that I am, the awesome husband that I am, and wanting to give my wife everything she wants under the sun, have also taken a position in this quest to get a dog. So I am cranking up my efforts to bring awareness to the family what it is exactly that it will take for us to get a dog. Because I also want my kids to have what they want while at the same time giving them what they need. I think as a husband it is important to see the things that your wife wants and try to find a way to make it happen. And I think as a father that finding that place between giving your kids something to enjoy AND something to be responsible for is crucial to helping your kids develop.

So now it seems that we are working our tails off as a family to make sure we handle our responsibilities to prove that we can actually take on the added responsibility of a dog. I hope this pans out, for all our sakes. I know my family can do it. Maybe now with Sandi behind this we might see what my family can actually do when we really want something.

Last night, as we approached church, we all noticed a blimp flying off in the distance. As we got to church Sandi noticed that the blimp was getting lower and lower to the ground.

Thinking it was about to land, she said out loud “I wonder where the blimp is going to land? Is it going to land at the airport?”

Without skipping a beat my son, all three and half years old of him, says “No mom, it is going to land at the blimp port”.

I love my son.