Borracho porque el vino blanco
Ayer, per la noche, estaba tomando con mi esposa. Teniamos vino blanco (chardonnay) de Brutocao. Hay Dios mio, que bien era el vino...
But I digress (as I usually do when speaking Spanish). I think I had a little too much to drink last night and I was still feeling the effects of it this morning.
It all started with nice weather
Dadgum that blasted beautiful sunshine. The weather was perfect for anything that you'd want to do (except maybe skiing). We decided that we wanted to barbecue, so after we got Sarah home from a church engagement I fired up the grill and started getting ready to cook.
Thinking that one fire was not nearly enough to have a wonderful evening, I decided I would stoke up a fire in our outdoor fireplace (basically a black firepit that looks like a fireplace). So I loaded a few logs on there, got a piece of a starter log on there and lit it. And it went out. So I lit it again. And it went out again.
Brief side note:
There are times in mans life when he really needs to exercise manishness. A time like this call for my friend Ray. He always knows how to make things work. Without question, he has either seen someone do it or he himself has done it. And it is always in a way that makes no sense initially, but after you see it working, you look at it and think "That make perfect sense." Thanks Ray for the inspiration. I needed you tonight and I think I got a little bit of your sensibility...
Suddenly I had a flash of brilliance! I thought, lets wrap the starter log in newspaper since that is about how they come from the store. So I did. And believe it or not... it worked. It took a while, but finally I got the starter log to stay lit. Then after about an hour, the wood logs actually maintained a flame. You see, I forgot that this wood has been out in the rain for the last six months. Oh well, wood is wood, right, and wood burns, so...
Anyway, after a while, I had managed to get a few logs burning, and I had a raging fire without the need for gasoline. The kids were enjoying it, but it was getting late so I had the kids come in while I messed with the logs and really got the fire going. I asked my wife if she would like to join me outside by the fire while we toast one another with some wine. She said she would join me as soon as Extreme Makeover Home Edition was done (she wanted to see the house). So I went outside, set up some chairs and poured our glasses.
I drank mine.
Then I drank another. And another.
All in all, I drank five glasses of white wine last night. I never do that. Especially if it is white. In fact, I have never had more than three glasses of wine in less that an hour in my whole life! And last night I took down five in about 45 minutes. And was I ever loopy.
I could barely walk straight. I had to go lay down. Which I did. Then promptly fell asleep on the couch. I woke up at about 1:30 this morning wondering where I was, then realized I was on the couch, so I went to bed where I remained until this morning when I woke up. Still feeling a little wobbly. But better. Enough so, at least, to get myself to work.
So I guess if there is a lesson to learn in all of this (and there wasn't originally, but if you want one, here it is) it is 'Don't drink a lot really fast late at night before you have to be up early and at work soon thereafter. And say 17 Hail Mary's and ask the priest to sprinkle holy water on your sunflowers. I hear it helps them grow. 
FTR: -19/9
Counting down like a smart child
Tonight my wife had this conversation with my three year old daughter Alaynah:
Mom: Alaynah, it is time for bed.
Daughter: I'm not going to bed.
Mom: You have 5 seconds to get to bed. 5... 4...
Daughter: 3... 2... 1... Let me guess, if you get to 1 I get a spanking, right?
Mom: Come here young lady, you don't talk to me that way...
Sometimes Alaynah's defiance is so right in your face you want to catch it and throw it at her. But really, she is a loving kid. She just has a very intense spirit that demands a certain amount of attention. We all want attention, don't we?
In her case, we give it to her. Sometimes she's happy she got it. Sometimes not.
FTR: -18/8
Butter knives are knives, too
This might come across as naive, or even stupid, of me, but did you know that butter knives can cut stuff? It is an honest question. I should add that I am not talking about cutting the edges off of bread or cutting pancakes. I mean cutting things like meat. Or in my case skin.
A knife is a knife
I suppose I should have reminded myself that a knife is a knife. Albeit, it is a butter knife, but a knife is still a knife.
While washing dishes this morning I cut myself. I had a handful of silverware in my hand and as I was rinsing them, I felt them start to slip. I did not want to rewash a handful of silverware, so I attempted to squeeze my hand in an effort to keep them from falling into the murky, dirty funk water that was in the pot in the dirty dish side of the sink.
Well, I was under the impression that if my hand was not made of butter or pancake that grabbing a butter knife on the rough edge of the blade would really not cause me any harm. After all, it is a butter knife. But I was horribly snapped back into the reality that a butter knife is still a knife when the blade sliced into the skin that connects my right pinky finger to the palm of my hand.
Imagine my surprise, and my horror, as I looked at my hand and saw a slice in my skin cause by a butter knife. I was so shocked, in fact, that I asked my wife how this was possible. She reminded me that a knife is a knife.
Sometimes the obvious is entirely too obvious
After simmering on the that little tidbit of delicious wisdom, I returned to the kitchen a smarter and happier man. I now knew that if I handled a knife, of any sort, I would certainly be more watchful over what end I handled it. And I would certainly not take for granted that just because the knife has a yummy sounding name like 'butter', it would not hurt me. No no, indeed, I would, from now on, keep a close lookout for any knife that I might handle.
The last thing I need to do is assume that a pocket knife does nothing but cut pockets.
FTR: -16/6
Something funny
So I was reviewing my Google Analytics account and I came across something absolutely amazing...
People are actually finding my post about being a tiger by searching for the term 'Sorry roger you tiger now'. Isn't that a freaking hoot? Anyway, for your enjoyment, I thought I'd include a little something something for you.
No way! I’m boycotting American Idol
That is utter garbage! How in the world did Melinda get bopped?!?!?!
I know she will be fine. I know she will probably be signing a contract by the end of the week. But come on, how in the world, out of 60,000,000+ votes, was she eliminated? Part of me is upset that I got it wrong AGAIN. But the bigger part of me is upset that American got it flat wrong. Melinda was the strongest talent out of the pool, with, in my opinion, Jordin a close second.
Now we have to endure another week of Blake beatboxing the crap out of songs that do not need any beatboxing in them. We should just call Jordin the winner now because if Blake wins that will be, undoubtedly, the end of American Idol as we know it.
Man, I am so upset about it. And I really don't know why since, when all is said and done, I still have a marriage to work out and finances to bring back from the dead. Anway, here's to you Melinda. You had our votes. I wonder where all the other people with ears were two nights ago?
FTR: -14/4
Sorry Blake
Yes, Blake did very good last night. And yes, Jordin did not do that great last night. But I still think that Jordin will be taking on Melinda next week in the final. We'll see. But I think that is going to be the case.
My prediction: Blake goes home. Tonight.
FTR: -13/3
How’s it going to go down tonight?
I know that getting into American Idol to the depth that I have is probably a complete waste of brainspace and bandwidth, but I like it, so I will continue this for at least the next two weeks 
.
Thinking about tonight, I wonder who is going to do what and how well. I still think that this will become a two girl final and since Blake is not a girl, I think he will be gone. But I can't help but think that American wants to see a boy and a girl on that final stage when it comes time to announce a winner.
Anyway, this one will be short and sweet. I think Melinda will knock it out of the park, I think Blake will beatbox himself out of the competition and I think Jordin will rock, but less than Melinda. Lets see how it goes down, shall we?
FTR: -12/2
