Making fun
Kids say the darnedest things sometimes. Never is that proven more distinctly then when my four year old, Alaynah, opens her mouth.
Given Sandi's health status we have had a lot of help from friends as it relates to preparing meals, watching the kids, transportation, etc. Last night we had a meal that one of our dear friends prepared for us. It happened to be Lasagna.
My daughter Rebekah, for some unknown reason, has a particular distaste for lasagna. Not that this little piece of information concerns me. I am her dad after all, and if lasagna is what is for dinner then that is what we all, as a family, are going to be eating. So last night, as expected with a finicky eater, Rebekah did everything possible to not eat the food she was served.
To facilitate an attitude of gratitude I ask my children that no matter what is served, whether they like it or not, that they at least eat some small amount of the meal. I follow my own advice, once eating all three garbanzo beans that we placed before, albeit strategically hidden placed within the salad at the time, so there is no hypocrisy to be found in this rule that I feel strongly about. My children are all aware of this rule and they do their best to accommodate my request.
So last night, after a short stint at the dinner table, Rebekah asks me if she can be excused. I look at her plate and notice that the half slice of lasagna I had served her had been cut in half, with one half still in tact on one side of the plate and the other half somewhat disheveled on the other side of her plate. As she showed me her plate she told me "I ate half of what you served me."
Looking at her plate I could not help but feel as though she may have not eaten the half she thought she did. I told her "Half of your lasagna is on that half of your plate and half of your lasagna is on the other half of your plate. Which half did you eat?" This garnered a raucous laughter from the rest of us and also gave Rebekah cause to frown somewhat at the thought of being the center of everyone's laughter. But without skipping a beat or missing a step, Alaynah looked at her older sister and comforted her with this little gem:
"It's OK Bekah, we are not making fun of you. We are just laughing at you."
No, that didn't make Rebekah feel better. But it did make everyone laugh a little more.
Man, I’m tired
I have five kids (I am almost certain I have mentioned this before). And at Christmas each one of them wants to go shopping for all of their siblings. And since mom is sick right now, that means dad is the go-to guy for getting the kids out of the house for Christmas shopping and the whatnot.
So on Monday I took Sarah out and we had some time together. Tuesday was Adriannah's turn. Last night, Rebekah. Tonight I am taking Alaynah out for spell. Then, I think, I am done. AJ will just have to wait, since most the time he wants to "shop" at ToysRUs so he can try to get as many toys out of me as he can.
Given the timing of things, and the enormous, mounting deadlines that I have coming at me, you can imagine that my days are getter longer and longer. For example, last night, I didn't get home from with Rebekah until after 11:00. Of course, a lot of that had to do with one particular store I was shopping at. But still, that is entirely too late.
But today I have the day off (I am working from home, but not until this afternoon). So tonight I am taking Alaynah out earlier than the last few days so I can get home and get to work. I am thankful, since yesterday wrapped up my shopping experience for the year. And I am thankful that Christmas on five days away.
I can't wait for day six. 
Homeschooling humor
Brought to you by my smart, funny, beautiful, cute, sexy, sultry wife Sandi:
Thinking about the humor of homeschooling……a typical day…….Mom wakes up, and regardless of how early she’s up someone is always up before that. Our two-year-old son Aaron is usually the one, but since he’s the youngest of five he learned a long time ago that he’s on his own for some things, so he’s already been in the fridge and helped himself to a nice breakfast of bologna, jelly, and broccoli, topped with a little whipped cream. Next comes the four-year-old, Purple Princess Alaynah, who needs at least three cups of coffee (or an hour) to feel human, and proceeds to hang on my leg as I’m cleaning up the remainder of Aaron’s breakfast from the wall. While Aaron is licking the whipped cream of his fingers, he notices that his sister has now occupied what he believes to be his leg and forgetting the task he’s been busy with, he begins to scream (MY TURN!!!!) and push his sister off. A bar fight breaks out. This wakes up the seven-year-old Adriannah. As the resident pastry chef and technology buff she asks for a cookie while she listens to the iPod. Mind you, it is now 6 a.m. I, already feeling outnumbered and underarmed, concede to the cookie-and-techie request (hey, at least she’s eating) and attempt to shake the two youngest from my leg as I stumble toward the coffee pot. Just one cup, and then maybe I can open my eyes all the way.
Over the din of “MY TURN!” and “Can I have a cookie too? Annah has one, I want one,” and “MY COOKIE!” I manage to pour myself a cup of coffee. Now that the three awake children have had their morning sugar intake, Aaron has decided to climb up onto the table and is now swinging from the ceiling fan. Seeing the opportunity for academic experimentation, Alaynah seizes it and turns on the fan. Aaron begins to laugh, and then a look of terror creeps into his face as he realizes that the speed is increasing. The law of brothers and sisters says that as one is deathly afraid, the other must be equally and oppositely gleeful in direct response to the other’s fear. That means that Alaynah is laughing with delight in her revenge on her brother for his taking over my leg. She now feels human. Deserting my uncreamed, unsugared coffee, I run to turn the fan off, comfort my terrified son, and discipline Alayah as I am torn between anger and laughter. Physics have now been completed for the day for the younger two and for myself, as it defies physics for anyone to move that fast without caffeine. Annah is blissfully unaware due to her strategic use of the iPod.
Helping out Facebook
This post is a totally meaningless post to my loyal readers (all three of you!). Anyway, I am posting this right now to see if within the next three hours my Facebook notes picks it up.
I setup notes a few days ago and told Facebook to import these posts, but it seems like their application is having a hard time gettin' 'er done. We'll see. Hopefully this test will help them.
The future is here
Every now and again something comes to us that makes us wonder how we could have not thought about it before. This is that something. Enjoy.
Head in the clouds
Yesterday I took the family (minus my wife) to a family gathering at my aunt's house in San Leandro. It was an awesome experience that was prefaced by some rather cool cloud shapes spotted along the way.
I'd like to show you pictures of what we saw because I really doubt that you'd believe me if I just tell you. But my camera (er, phone) was dying at the time and I wasn't able to take any pictures so you are going to have to take my word for it this time, ok?
It started with "Free"
While driving along the freeway, being frustrated at the thought of early afternoon traffic making my drive a 40 MPH crawl, my oldest daughter Sarah mentioned that she saw the word "Free" written across the sky in the clouds. As I looked closely I could almost make out FREE, though to my Linux based OS of a brain, I could barely see FREE but was able to clearly see RHEL.
As we continued to look skyward we saw quite a few things present themselves. My four year old, Alaynah, saw an arrow. When I looked, I saw a very clear white cloud arrow, sweeping downward toward the Earth. In fact, the entire car saw it. It was plain as day and stayed that way almost the entire trip.
Sarah also saw what appeared to be a baby elephant laying down on its belly with its trunk straight out. I saw that, too. So did one of my other kids.
Then Sarah saw a car with no wheels. It looked like something out of an illustration. I could see the windshield, the driver side front window, the "A" pillar, the hood of the car and the wheel wells missing their wheels. It was uncanny.
Soon after that I saw as plain as the nose on my face the number "3". My kids saw that one too.
Then, as we got off the freeway, Rebekah saw a hippo playing with our baby elephant from earlier.
So all in all we saw more stuff in the clouds than a lot of people would see at a trip to the zoo. It was awesome, imaginative and fun. And it was a great way to spend some time on the road.
I will post a little bit about the family gathering tomorrow perhaps. That was actually quite a bit better than the drive to it. But I want to post more on that when I have the time to, and right now, I don't have that kind of time.
A Microsoft Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping.
The stockings were hung by the modem with care
In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games danced in their heads.
Dark Forces for Billy, and Doom II for Dan,
And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,
To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com
Which has now been re-routed to Washington State
Because Santa's workshop has been bought by Bill Gates.
All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle
To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.
After centuries of a life that was simple and spare,
St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire,
With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh,
And a house on Lake Washington that's just down the way
From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens
In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans.
The elves have stock options and desks with a view,
Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.
No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums
Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS
With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive
From now on Christmas runs only on Windows 95.
More rapid than eagles the competitors came,
And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
"Now, ADOBE!now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too,
Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you are all of you through,
It is Microsoft's SANTA that the kids can't resist,
It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist -
Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,
And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.
Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's scheme,
And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream.
To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!"
And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The whirr and the hum of our satellite platter,
As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.
As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.
And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
And I heard them exclaim in voice so bright,
Have a MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS, and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT
She wins
Yesterday, while making lunch, I decided to show my masculine prowess by projecting outward a sound not unlike that of a jet breaking the sound barrier as I opened my mouth, titled my head back and opened up for a strained, though proud, burp.
My 11 year old daughter, not far from me in the kitchen, looked at me with a smile on her face as she graciously opened her mouth and sent forth the roar of a Mount Krakatoa erupting with the fury of the Greek gods in unison. No struggle, no work, just shear, unadulterated belch mastery at the hands of a little girl.
Oh, and while still smiling at me, she slyly says: "I win.".
That you do Sarah, that you do.
Working from home
I get to work from home today. I have to work from home today. Which sounds better?
Either way, I was spared a commute today. My wife has a doctor's appointment today and there is no one to watch the kids. So in between coding, screaming and Internet Explorer, cussing out Bill Gates and eating, I am going to be watching the kids.
Wish me luck. There is a lot to do today.
