Thoughts, rants and commentary from a husband, father of five and professional web geek

California has spoken on marriage once again

Posted on November 5th, 2008 in On Christianity, On Faith, On Family, On Politics, Personal Messages

There were probably no greater a controversial ballot proposition this past election than that of Proposition 8 in my home state of California. The erroneously named “Same-sex marriage ban” proposition had gotten the attention of just about every state in the nation along with just about every media outlet in the nation. It was one of the most expensive, if not the most expensive proposition campaign ever and it is likely to be far from over now that California has, for the second time, voted to recognize marriage as being between a man and a woman.

For those unfamiliar to this proposition (have you been living under a rock?), the entire premise of the proposition is the adding of the following text to the California constitution:

“Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid and recognized in California.”

Somehow this has gotten the name of the “Same-sex marriage ban” proposition. The “OFFICIAL TITLE AND SUMMARY” as “PREPARED BY THE ATTORNEY GENERAL” in the California voter guide was “ELIMINATES RIGHT OF SAME–SEX COUPLES TO MARRY”. It was even referred to in some circles as the “Gay Marriage ban” proposition.

I have to tell you I was extremely disappointed with just about every aspect of Proposition 8 with the exception of it’s passing. The text of the proposed constitutional amendment was the exact same text that was proposed in the 2000 election under proposition 22. The text of the law specifically states “marriage between a man and woman”. Minor apologies to those of you who believe that this was a same-sex issue, but the reality of it is that this proposition was for people that believe marriage to be between a man and woman. This was not a “same-sex” issue, it was a “marriage between a man and woman” issue.

I found it ironic that so many people turned the desire of a group of people that want to protect marriage into something that was based on same-gender marriage or homosexual marriage. That is ludicrous. And to say it eliminated rights is just as ludicrous. In 2000 the people of the state of California voted to make marriage valid only when between a man and woman. 52 of 58 counties voted for Prop 22. It was passed overwhelmingly by the people of the state.

Eight years later four judges, four, on the California supreme court overruled the people’s decision stating the Prop 22 was unconstitutional because it discriminated against couples of the same gender that sought marriage. Since when have judges been given the right to overturn vote results? If they can do that, why vote at all? Why not just ask judges to pass all of our laws for us?

So they did. They overturned Prop 22 and for the last five and a half months marriages were being performed between couples of the same gender. They in effect handed the right of marriage to people that up until that time did not have the right to marry under that context. Keep in mind that people of the same gender that have sought to become united have been able to do so for some time now under California’s and America’s laws recognizing civil unions. The only difference is that the term “marriage” has not been recognized in California as marriage unless it was between a man and a woman. Until the judges got involved.

So their decision then gave the Attorney General the ability to label Proposition 8 as “Eliminates the rights of same-sex couples to marry”. Astonishing. Why not read the text of the proposed law and label the proposition as such? “Recognizes marriage as being between a man and a woman”. That sounds more like the proposed law to me.

For the record I want to say that I have no ill feelings toward anyone. I don’t hate homosexual people. I am not afraid of homosexual people. I am not mad at homosexual people. My opinions on marriage are not about the choices people make in their lifestyle. They are about what I believe marriage is. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Period.

I do, however, get bothered somewhat by folks that believe that because someone makes a choice they should be granted rights that they would not normally have had they not made that choice. These are the people that make statements associating homosexuality to ethnicity or gender. People that believe the struggle of the homosexual community is akin to the struggle of African-Americans that marched with Dr. Martin Luther King or Malcolm X. People that associate homosexuality to me being a male or me being Mexican. Thanks for trying to make your point but please do not place your sexual preference in the same category as my ethnic heritage or my gender. I didn’t choose to be a man nor did I choose to be Mexican. Homosexuality cannot be compared to these.

It can be compared to being a Christian. Or being a smoker. Or being a Republican. Those are all choices that are made. And not one of them carries with it a privilege afforded it simply because one aligns himself or herself with that particular group. A smoker that is told to smoke outside a restaurant because it is a non-smoking restaurant is not being discriminated against. The smoker chooses to smoke and must smoke according to the law.

A man that wants to marry has every right to marry. But if that man chooses to wed another man, according to the law, he cannot. He can unite with the other man in a civil union. But he cannot marry him. Simple. Understandable. Nondiscriminatory.

I am glad the political campaigning is over. I am glad the elections are over. And I am glad that Proposition 8 passed. I know this is not over yet. We live in a state where when certain people don’t get what they want they throw a fit and scream until someone bends. I can assure you there will still be noise on this matter for some time.

But I can also assure you that the state of California has spoken in a mighty voice and it has said clearly that marriage, regardless of your position on it, is supposed to be between a man and woman. It is clear. It is understandable. And now it is constitutional.

4 Responses to “California has spoken on marriage once again”

  1. For the record.. I think it is crap. Gay marriage should be legal.

    Somehting we have to agree to disagree on.

  2. I am OK with disagreeing with people with the understanding that we can still get along with differing viewpoints. We are all entitled to our opinions. I value you yours. I might not agree with it, but I value it.

  3. I didn’t meant to be so inarticulate when I wrote that. I believe that gay marriage should be legal, and (as you know about my orientation) I just want to be treated like anyone else, and not discriminated against. Although VERY well worded and articulate (a skill you clearly possess and I lack.. severely!), I feel that voting for Prop 8 was putting the Bible into my life. Yes, i am a Christian, but I don’t need the beliefs of the bible crammed into the government.

    Civil unions for gay people don’t grant them the same rights as a marriage does. Gay Marriage doesn’t “make a mockery of marriage”… divorce does. Adultery does. Mail-order brides do. LOVE makes a marriage. And gay people love just as much as straight people do.

    I am your friend. But, I disagree with you vehemently on this. I DO value your opinion. Especially as this is your blog and you could easily wipe this whole conversation away with your delete key. I hope that next time this is on the ballot, “California” votes differently.

  4. I think discrimination is not an appropriate vantage point for the discussion on Prop 8. The reason I say this is because there are several other limitations and criteria for recognized and legal marriage in the state that could just as easily be construed as discrimination that no one gives any consideration. Why is it not discrimination for siblings that are not able to marry? Or for people that want more than one spouse? Or for minors? No one is arguing their case. Yet there is more talk of discrimination against homosexuals than there is for any other group that is “discriminated” against by the laws governing marriage in California.

    I can see how some might view proposition 8 as injecting Christianity or religion into people’s lives, but again, there was no mention nor implication of Christianity, let alone religion, in the text of the proposition. While the basis of American law can easily be linked to Christianity - the word God being found many times over in many of the original documents of the early United States as well as many laws taking their basis directly from biblical law - this law in particular cannot be linked to Christianity or religion at all. It simply did not include provision for that.

    I totally agree with you that civil unions do not grant the same rights of marriage as it relates to survivorship and spousal benefits. However there is no reason that someone should need to be married to be able to have someone as a designee or appointee when it comes to the affairs or matters of a person that needs or wants to appoint someone to be an executor of their effects. Marriage does currently provide for this, but I personally believe that marriage should not be the vehicle that allows for appointment of rights to people. I should be able to make anyone my beneficiary, executor or survivor and it shouldn’t take marriage to do it. But for now, laws being what they are, you are completely right, and I completely agree with you, that civil unions do not afford the same rights to people as marriage does. But I do not think that is a limitation of marriage so much as it is a limitation on the laws that people have sought to pass.

    Love does not make a marriage, in my opinion. There are plenty of marriages that have no love in them and there are plenty of loving relationships that are not marriages (homosexual or otherwise). While the predominant number of marriages are based on love at one point or another I would not say that love necessarily makes a marriage. Of course this line of thinking could also be the explanation for why our national and statewide divorce rates are alarmingly high and growing. I am not totally sure about this yet.

    It is ok that we disagree on this subject. All people are different. If we can’t disagree with one another and still live with one another we will all end up dead and without friends. And you never know, there might actually come a time when those that want marriage opened up to more than have it now will actually try to get a law passed rather than sit by and watch as California continues to speak on this subject. With as many people as are speaking out so loudly about this issue there might actually be a chance that a law could pass at some point. But I think it will take a calculated effort on the part of those trying to open up marriage. Using lawsuits, protests, personal attacks and the tactics that are in use now is a sure fire way to make those that are on the fence about turn away from the Prop 8 opponents.

    And for the time being, or until those four California Supreme Court judges overturn our statewide voice for a second time, this matter is not a matter of constitutional law.

    Thanks for posting. I value your opinion as I do anyone with the guts to speak out on this issue. It is a big issue and deserves a lot of coverage. If for nothing else than to expose the truth of the beliefs of each side of the battle.

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