Monthly Archives: September 2009

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Happy birthday Adriannah

THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY SUPPOSED TO AIR ON SEPTEMBER 26, THE DATE OF MY DAUGHTER ADRIANNAH’S BIRTHDAY. HOWEVER, IN THE COURSE OF THE DAY AND THE WEEKEND I WAS NOT AT ALL ABLE TO GET ON MY BLOG. HENCE THE TARDINESS OF THIS WELL WISHING POST. ;)

Today marks my daughter Adriannah’s ninth birthday. Nine year’s since my little pastry chef, my little fashionista, my little tickle bug was born. And no matter how long it becomes since a child was born, I still get taken back to when they were babies.

As I sit here and wonder where the heck nine years has gone I begin to look back on some of the experiences we have had as a family. And I recall with fondness many of the things we have done over the years and how each of our children took to it.

I remember things like our Disneyland trip in 2006, where we celebrated Adriannah’s sixth birthday. I remember her huge water slide birthday party a few years ago. I remember when she made the chocolate watermelon cake that she invented all by herself.

I also look at how much a nine year old can be. How smart, funny, witty, athletic and ambitious she can be. Did you know that Adriannah gives every single one of her stuffed animals a name? Their own name. And they are never repeated. And did you know that she remembers each one of them? Like they were her kids.

And did you know that she can sit down and single-handedly solve every single puzzle on Wheel of Fortune? That’s right, she has solved puzzles that I haven’t been able to.

Nine years… wow. On this, your ninth birthday, I wish you, Adriannah, a wonderful day filled with laughs, smiles and enjoyment of being another year older. I love you my baby. Happy birthday.

Reconciling the past

You ever have a moment where something you did weeks, months or perhaps even years ago rears itself up and manifests itself in your life again? I had that experience this morning.

This morning I discovered that some of the things that I have written in this blog have offended some very specific, very special people in my life. I won’t go into detail on those people or the subject matter in question; however, I will say that I am truly sorry for the grief, anguish and betrayal I have caused you by writing about those specific experiences in my life.

While I don’t think it is ever the intent of anyone to purposefully cause pain to someone (unless that anyone is mean and truly wants to hurt the someone), nevertheless, people do get hurt. And while I will not take responsibility for anyone’s feelings, I will certainly take responsibility for my actions.

To that end, I apologize for the latitude I have taken in some of the writings I have posted here. And though I cannot promise to not post from my heart again, I can promise that I will be more cognizant of the potential harm it could cause to those that read this blog.

All three of you. ;)

Happy anniversary

Today is my anniversary. Well, my wife and my anniversary actually. No, not our wedding anniversary but the anniversary of when we actually started dating – September 20, 1991.

I remember it fondly, albeit not as clearly as I would like (it was 18 years ago – I can barely remember what I did last week). I remember hanging out outside the history building at Newark Memorial High School (I think it was the 400 building, but I could be way off) at brunch with my then “woman in hot pursuit” and my eventual wife, Sandi Millet. We had been talking since the beginning of the school year and had been moving closer to becoming a couple, though by this point – all three weeks into this fledgling relationship – we hadn’t so much as held hands.

What I remember about this day the most was that right before the end of brunch bell rang, I hugged her to tell her goodbye. As we separated from the hug there was a bit of an awkward pause between us. It was this pause that set us on our road to destiny as Mr. and Mrs. Robert Gonzalez. As we stared at each other, still in each other’s arms, Sandi leaned into me and gave me the biggest, most awesome kiss a 17 year old boy could ever hope for. Ever.

I was shell shocked. I walked to my calculus class stunned, amazed and in awe. As I got to class my best friend at the time, David Watkins, asked me why I looked like I just got hit by a truck. All I could muster was “She kissed me”. Yes, I was stupefied.

So today, 18 years later, I bid my wife, friend, lover and favorite woman in the world a happy anniversary. I am so glad we spent that brunch together. And I am so, so, so, so glad we ended up together, and stayed together, to get to where we are now. I love you babe.

For the men: How many times has your wife asked you if you “remember what today is”? How many times have you actually remembered? I have a challenge for you.

Try to surprise your wife one of these days with remembering something that to you seems mundane or otherwise not as memorable as you would think it should be and gently mention it to her. Something I have learned about my wife is that she loves it when I remember things that are special to her. Like the anniversary of when we started dating. I dare you to show your wife you love her by remembering a date that is special to her that you may have historically not remembered in the past.

Working works

Today I had to be accountable. This is something that I should be doing anyway, but it just had to be done today. And the coolest thing is that it allowed me to reap a grand harvest.

Today my wife and daughter had a scheduled outing. This meant that I had a morning home with my four other kids. It also meant that the promise I made to handle some of my “honey do” list items needed to be honored.

So I set out this morning to fetch some things I needed for some of the fixes and such that I needed to make today. I bought wooden stakes, some light bulbs, light switches, light switch plates, nails, a rake, some duct tape and some Vaseline. Ok, I didn’t buy duct tape and Vaseline. ;)

I got home from the store and made some breakfast and got started. And I worked it. Hard.

I trimmed the bottle brush trees on the side of our driveway. I raked the little patch of yard below the bottle brush. I trimmed some street level bushes. I trimmed a bush in the tan bark patch near my garage. I straightened up that tan bark. I pulled some weeds in the yard. I removed some dead bushes to clear a path for living plants to grow. I fixed some bender boards in the back yard. And I replaced two switches in my kitchen that needed to be replaced.

Do I tell you all of this to tempt you to pat me on the back? Not at all. I tell you this because I really, really didn’t want to do it. But I had made a promise to my wife that this weekend I would take care of some of the things that she has been waiting a very long time to be handled. She has been exceptionally patient, and very gracious, and I have been very nonchalant in my promises. It was time. She had waited long enough and I had gone back on my word long enough.

Men, there is a lesson in this for you. If you tell your wife you are going to do something, do it. Don’t whine, don’t make excuses, don’t not do it. Just get it done. My wife was very appreciative of me taking care of these things. And I was happy to do them. I didn’t want to actually do these things. But I wanted to show my wife that I am her man, that when I say I am going to do something I do it, and that she means enough to me to be honest and accountable to her.

Yeah, it was only a little fixing up and cleaning up here and there. But it allowed me to cross a few things off the list of things that need to be handled. And it also allowed me be a man to my wife. I love doing that.

And you want to know a wonderful side benefit to all of this? I lost four pounds today. How awesome is that? Heck, I may just spend all winter doing some kind of physical on the weekends. It’s almost like a trip to the gym without all the meat heads, gym rats and expensive memberships.

Never forget

WARNING: There is a video included in this post that contains video footage of the news reports as they broadcast the attack on the second World Trade Center tower on the morning of September 11, 2001. If this is disturbing to you, please do not view the video.

No one will likely forget that early morning on Tuesday, September 11, 2001. How could we? It was the day that, for many Americans, changed the way we lived our lives. Unlike any other day before it, our nation came under attack by a faceless, nameless enemy who sought to do America great harm. And for a time, they succeeded.

I remember that morning. I had gotten up earlier than I normally did, and was sitting on my couch putting my shoes on when I turned on the TV. I wasn’t looking for the morning news at the time. I had actually turned the channel to ESPN to see if there was a status report on Ed McCaffrey’s broken leg from the Broncos/Giants game the Monday night before. So you can imagine my surprise when I turned on ESPN and saw a CNN report of what was transpiring in New York.

I quickly scanned through the channels on my TV to see if this was a big story. Indeed, every channel that was broadcasting was broadcasting the story as it unfolded. I remember seeing the first of the two big towers burning from the top and seeing the black smoke billowing from the top of that building. I remember thinking to myself “how does a fire start way up there?”. I also remember thinking “how are firefighters going to attack that fire?”. As I sat there, amazed at the spectacle before me, and hearing the news reports that there may have been a plane involved in this fire, I watched, stunned, as the second plane hit the second tower. I was without words, and without thought for a moment.

Then it hit me. The security that we as a nation had come to take for granted was being exploited right before our eyes. As the news reports continued to pour in it became evident that evil people managed to infiltrate our country, steal four airplanes and proceed to attack us with them. With an intent to kill, these terrorists successfully carried out the largest single concerted killing attack on American soil to date. We were, in a word, vulnerable.

The reality of the attacks become even more grave later in the morning as I drove to work under a clear blue sky. There was not a cloud above. Neither were there any airplanes. The FAA had grounded all flights in the country so the sky was quiet. I had never seen the sky like that. I live in the middle of the San Francisco, Oakland and San Jose triangle so I see airplanes overhead every couple of minutes. Yet on this clear blue morning not even the sound of a prop plane could be heard. It was eerie.

As I got to work I went to my boss’s office because he had a TV. A lot of the people I worked with were in that office watching the news continue to unfold. We heard about a potential attack on the white house and another one on the pentagon. We began to learn of who the attackers might be and what their plan might have been. We learned that all of the planes involved in the attack that day were east coast to west coast non stop flights which meant they were completely full of fuel when they left New York. It also meant that a good number of passengers on those flights were from California.

We learned that a plane had crashed somewhere in Pennsylvania, in the middle of a field. We later learned that it ended up there because some brave men and women would not settle for being taken captive and fought like hell for their lives. Later in the day we watched as the towers fell with people still in them. Workers, firefighters, police officers, good Samaritans… thousands of lives were lost in an instant when those towers collapsed.

We also learned later that there were people jumping from hundreds of feet up to avoid the raging and intense heat of the rocket fuel burning them up. We began to see the damage wrought by the attacks of a handful of evil cowards that sought to do us harm as a nation. But we learned something of supreme importance that day as well.

We learned that we are a country of red-blooded, ass-kicking, proud and strong Americans and don’t take to getting punched in the face that easy. The “great American rally” started that day and brought us closer as a country than we had ever been. Religious lines were shattered, political lines erased, socioeconomic differences set aside. We came together starting that day for the common cause of showing the world that we are stronger than the attackers and more resilient that they thought.

I will never forget that day. I will never forget the fear I felt, for an instance, for my children and the world they would eventually grow up to inherit. I will never forget the sense of vulnerability I felt that morning. I will never forget seeing the men and women who knew they were going to die run into those buildings to save just one more person. I will never forget the people on the ground helping hurting, crying and dying people. I will never forget.

And I will never forget how our country has responded to the attacks. I will never forget the sense of pride I had as an American as people dug deep to raise money for families affected by the attacks. I will never forget the outpouring of people attending churches in the months after the attacks. I will never forget the mass movement by young men and women to join our armed forces for the purposes of fighting this cowardly, faceless enemy. I will never forget the sense of urgency our country felt in living life to the fullest after the attacks. I will never forget what it was like being an American after those attacks.

So today I would ask that you keep the surviving family members of those lost in the attacks in your prayers. Remember the families, remember the losses, remember the rally and remember our country. I will remember that day forever. I will never forget.

Happy Labor Day

Today is Labor Day in the United States, a day when Americans celebrate the working people, and our work in general, in our country. As is my usual, I would like to wish every working person in the world a happy Labor Day today.

Something that I do want to do different this year, however, is that I want to stress that labor in this country, or in any country for that matter, does not necessarily mean paid labor. There is plenty of work done around the world that is not done for someone that is paying you to do it. Like parenting. Or mothering, to be specific.

Most mothers are the real workers in their households, whether she is a single mom raising her family by herself or a working mom who rushes every morning to get the kids out of the house on time for school before heading to work or even a stay-at-home mom who tends the house and family during the day. And it is my opinion that of all the mothers that labor every day, without weekends or vacations or days off or bonuses or even thanks, the mothers that seem to be the hardest working yet most overlooked are the stay-at-home, homeschooling mom. To you I want to wish an enormous happy Labor Day. The work you do is hardly ever noticed and even less seldom recognized. But the work you do cannot even be described, let alone appreciated to its full value. You are the truest laborer there is.

And to my wife, who has been staying at home AND homeschooling our five kids since my oldest was four years old, I want to not only wish you a happy Labor Day but I also want to offer you a great big thank you for all the work you have done over the years and continue to do every day. It is not at all easy to do what you do (I know I’m not cut out for it, that’s for sure). Your patience, kindness, grace and love are tested everyday, without thanks, without appreciation, without a pat on the back… but every day you stay in the fight. Every day you labor, intensely, to provide for our home. And though your work does not come with a paycheck it will someday come with a giant pay day. For your labor carries with it a return far greater than money. I just want you to know that without you our family would not be where it is today.

So today my wish is that we all enjoy our day off. May you rest, celebrate and take full advantage of your day to celebrate the work you do.

Subscribing to my rants

Not sure if anyone would have any interest in keeping up with my ramblings as they are posted, but if you happen to exist and do want to stay as up to date with me as possible, I have implemented the FeedBurner Email Subscription service on my blog just for you.

You can subscribe to my blog entries by email to receive a daily email of anything new that I have written. I am testing this out to see if this is the best approach to take to this, so if you do subscribe but don’t like what you are getting, please let me know by sending me an email or commenting on my blog. Your feedback is always appreciated.

Hey, Robert, where you been?

I was looking back over my blog activity the other day and realized that I have not produced nearly as much content as I have in the past. For a while I was shooting for a post a day and I was pretty successful at it. But things happen, wake-up calls are answered, life beckons, yadda yadda… and the next thing you know it has been months since I have posted anything.

Generally this wouldn’t mean too much. But for me it is starting to get to me. I have used my blog as my soap box, my psychiatrist, my drinking buddy, my locker room. It has been a way for me to get things off my chest, shout to the world and broadcast my experience, my personality, my rants, my wisdom and sometimes my ignorance :) . It has also been a way that some of my friends and family have used to keep up with me and my life. Which means that if I don’t talk to them on a regular basis then they might have no idea what is going on with me.

Given the nature of things in the Gonzalez atmosphere as of late, and specifically my world (because we all know how self-centered, egotistical and wrapped up in myself I am) I’ve decided to put more time and effort into my blog. I think I need the therapeutic value of it more than anything, but I also would love for my friends and family to be able to know what is happening with yours truly when they want to know.

So if I haven’t lost you as a reader because of my lack of involvement in this thing I am glad you stuck around. I hope with some upcoming changes I am making that keeping up with me will be even easier for you and will prompt even more output from me.