Me: “I hate Internet Explorer. It can’t even handle large tables.”
Me: “Can a table get that large?”
He: “No, but a zucchini can.”
Me: “Dude, WTF?”
I turn around to see what he is talking about and BAM!, there is a big fat zucchini in my face. Shocked and awed at the sight of this thing, I could only pick it up and try to quell the thoughts that any man would have when faced with something this big.
Ok, comments are open. Let me have it. I know you will anyway.
PS For those that care, the ladies around here named him “Zucchy” and promptly took him home and made bread from him.
The other day I received an email that detailed how similar politicians are no matter where around the world they may be. I thought that certainly Americans had the upper hand when it came to our elected leaders being political. I may have been wrong.
It seems that Senator Bob Collins from Australia is the example to follow when being political. He recently gave an interview regarding a tanker ship that experience a horrific accident at sea. The accident, one in which the front of the ship detached allowing 20 million tons of crude oil to spill into the sea, happened near Australia.
You gotta see this…
Amazing, isn’t it? I have yet to see an American politician pull something like off.
Side bar: If you hadn’t guessed while watching the clip, it is a satire by John Clarke and Bryan Dawe, an Australian comedic duo that have been doing satires of weekly events, called the 7.30 report, for some time now. You gotta admit, they are darn funny.
There are many a wife that has been widowed by the World of Warcraft craze that has swept the world. And plenty of men, women and children have fallen victim to the craziness of the addiction to this violent, expensive, wasteland generating game.
However there is an entire class of people that are being overlooked in our zeal to cast judgment on the yayhoos that have gone WoW-stupid. These folks are largely overlooked because they are the ones that missed the boat. That’s right, these poor people have missed the hit parade of early adopters and are now forced to work twice as hard, some times three times as hard, to accumulate the WoW wealth needed to really impress the female gnomes and imps trolling about the WoW.
But I have good news for these people. Blizzard Entertainment, the same folks that brought you World of Warcraft have recently announced plans for World of World of Warcraft, a game that allows those that missed the first rush of WoW freakiness to pass them by to easily integrate themselves into that world by gaming themselves into it.
Have a look:
So it appears that you can now put yourself into the game even if you are not in the game. How cool is that? No more being an outcast, outsider or freak that doesn’t know what a level 3 gnome rogue is. No way Jose. Now, you can be one of the cool folks associated with World of Warcraft, in your own World of World of Warcraft.
I never tire of LOLCats. Seriously, never. I can literally sit for hours and be amused by their silly antics and wonderful captions.
So imagine my surprise when one of them came up missing. A real life lolcat, missing in SF.
I almost wanted to hit the city just to look for it. I would stop, of course, at a burger joint to pick up a cheezburger before beginning my quest to find the lil lol. And I would celebrate mightily after having caught it as I would have been a guy that actually caught a real life, living LOLCat.
When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich’s house was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide-screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even left his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was a generic white cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder. (That’s at least the way the
police report described it.)
A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said, ‘it looked similar to high-grade cocaine and they probably thought they’d hit the big time. Later, Nathan stood in front of the numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars: “Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She
died three years ago.”
The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan’s doorstep. The cardboard box was there too; about half of Gertrude’s ashes remained. Scotch-taped to the box was this note: “Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry
we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day.”
Now I am no fool. I know that since it came through my email it must be true. But the smart guy in me told me that this sounded like the stuff of urban legends, so putting my skepticism to work (sorry intarwebs but I had to) I started doing some research.
The first thing I asked myself was can this really happen? I answered that pretty readily by explaining to myself that yes, criminals are really that stupid. And many could easily mistake cremated human remains for cocaine. Especially since it was hidden so inconspicuously in an urn.
But then I thought to myself what is the likelihood of this happening? And for the answer to that, I had to look the infallible intarwebs square in the eye and humbly ask it if it could look something up for me.
It did it, albeit hesitantly.
And you know what? Other peoplehave also receivedthis same email about Nathan Radlich. So I stopped thinking that I was special. And I started looking a little harder at whether this was really true.
And I found out it wasn’t. The stinking emailwebs lied to me. Not the intarwebs. No, the intarwebs stayed true and loyal and only gave me the truth (as it always does). But no such luck for emailwebs.
But its all good. Later on, when I pour a foedee on da floe foe mah dawg Hoochie, I will do the same for the emailwebs.
Quite often I thank God that we live in a democracy where we, as a people, get to choose who governs us. It is somewhat empowering to know that those people that make the laws are drawn from the same pool of people who need those very laws in order to survive. Continue reading »
The following piece graciously donated by my mother-in-law via my wife.
Anyone that has ever been to the south knows that you can always count on a few things when you are there. One is the hospitality. I mean you can literally have a two hour conversation with a complete stranger and actually feel at home doing it.
Another thing you can count on is the food. It will always be fattening and it will always be delicious. No matter what you are eating, it will just be good eats. Its the south, so you can count on it.
One thing that I can speak of from experience is the state bird of Louisiana. No, I am not talking about the Brown Pelican. I am talking about the mosquito.
Those little buggers are the size of the airplanes that fly you from Fort Worth to Lafayette. They are big, strong, aggressive and relentless. They don’t back down and when you finally smack one of them into oblivion, five of his cousins come back for you.
So it was no wonder that this footage spoke to me as loudly as it did. I have never seen this before, but it does not surprise me. How much farther will this torment known as the mosquito go?
Thank you God. After months of campaigning, spending, collecting, slandering, complaining, misstepping, traveling, speaking and everything associated with a campaign, we can finally put the Democratic half of all that mess aside and welcome Barack Obama to the fight for the presidency against Senator John McCain.
I am so so so so so so happy. No more HRC vs BO ads. No more HRC period. That is the best thing ever.
To celebrate this momentous occasion my wife came up with the best quote ever for a campaign:
If I was a Clinton donor I would so be asking for a refund right now. Thanks Hilary.
