This post is being written in response to the following email I received today:
I came to you site via a search for something about chronic fatigue.
Based on your posts it seems your wife was doing pretty poorly and
over time has greatly improved. I also have CFS and it is really bad
right now. I wondered if you’d be willing to share with me anything
your wife did to help her improve (medical treatments and self care,
lifestyle changes etc.) I am desperate and rarely see anything posted
online about people who’ve improved so I really would love to know
what you wife did, didn’t do etc. I really appreciate the help if
you’re able to share some info. Thanks soooo much.
There were a lot of changes made in her lifestyle, my lifestyle and our family dynamic that have contributed to her (continuing) recovery. It would be unfair to say that she has completely recovered from this dastardly illness, but she has made huge improvements and advancements when it comes to her health. Several things have contributed to her improvement, some of which are:
She saw a doctor who prescribed different medications for different symptoms of her illness. Out of respect for her I won’t go into that publicly (feel free to email robert [at] robert-gonzalez [dot] com) but the medications she took helped her tremendously in the way of sleep, piece of mind and overall physical health.
She became more physically active. I don’t know if this was a matter of willpower or a renewed sense of energy but activity actually helped her get more active which continued to help her improve.
She took on a hobby. Last summer she got bitten by the theater bug and began to devote an extraordinary amount of time to it. The demands of performing and rehearsing required her to devote all of her resources to it and, without really being able to NOT commit (without letting down her theater family) she just continued to indulge in her passion. This alone, I think, has sparked a tremendous amount of recovery for her.
She has taken on a new outlook on what is and isn’t important in life. That might sound almost lame to have to say that, but one of the things that seemed to cause her a lot of stress was worry over the things that were going on at home, with the kids, with our money and with our family. As she began to find peace in where we were, right where we were, the stress that she was feeling began to gradually minimize, freeing her to live without the burden of having to “perform” in order to maintain order in her life.
She prayed. A lot. And so did her friends and family. If you are a religious/spiritual person then prayer will be invaluable to you. It was to her, and she would attest to that fact.
Lastly, and probably most importantly, she had help. Lots and lot of help. From her family (the kids and I), her extended family (sister, parents, in-laws) and her friends. Many a night were we served by friends bringing meals over for us or family helping us clean our home or take the kids somewhere. I’m sure it wasn’t easy or convenient for them, but in the end they showed our entire family what true love was all about by really stepping up and helping us out in pretty much any way we needed it.
I’m sure there is plenty more that has help contribute to my wife’s recovery over the last few years. And while she has made tremendous strides in healing, she will admit that she still has bad days here and there. Still, she has plenty more good days than bad and she strives everyday to make each day count. She has become incredibly active in the kids’ lives, education and hobbies. She has taken a renewed interest in learning and teaching and she has developed a penchant for spirited fun and adventure. She has also gotten some semblance of control over her sleeping patterns, started to watch her diet and began talking a lot with her friends and family.
Essentially she has gotten to the point where she is able to live life again in a healthier way that allows her to continue to live each day as fully as she can. Again, she still has bad days, but at the end of the day, she is doing worlds better now than she was just two years ago.
Thank you for the email asking this question. If you have any other questions feel free to email me directly at my email address that I posted inside of this post. Thanks.
Tacos, tacos everywhere! Yes, I ate scrambled egg white tacos twice today. No, I don’t feel guilty about that.
Lunch was sort of a mash of stuff since I didn’t have time, once again, to pack myself anything.
I felt like I snacked all day long today. Even though I felt full pretty much all day, I also felt very fat all day today.
I’ve found a breach in the fortress surrounding my fortitude. That breach is sugar, and for two nights in a row I’ve allowed myself to cave to it. I feel like crap about that because, even though it’s only a few calories, I’m pouring lots of processed sugar into my body late at night, which I think is having a nasty effect on my mornings.
In light of the recent “will of the people” to save failing banks and our tanking economy, and in keeping with the tradition of rewarding failure with lots and lots of taxpayer cash, I felt it appropriate to write about two stories that have me wondering when the government funding of stupidity and management failure will eventually trickle down to me.
With all of this “rescuing” being offered by the government to these humongous corporations and organizations, I cannot help but be reminded of some of the presidential campaign promises the Obamasiah made when running for our votes. Some of those things revolved around the premise that he would work for the middle class, working family and that big business has benefited enough from past administrations. Forgive me if I sound a little ignorant here, but exactly how does taking more of our money and handing it over to a collection of large, irresponsible financial institutions equate to helping the middle class working family and not benefiting large corporations? Any idiot with a pen and an elected office could have done that. I thought we elected hope, change and a new sense of patriotism?
Oh well, maybe one day, when every American has lost their house and people are killing one another in the streets to bring a piece of bread home for their families, the large banks that are throwing these lavish parties will open their restrooms for us so we can clean up a little bit. It’s the least they can do for us, seeing as we are the ones paying for their banquets, their marketing, their airplanes, their bonuses, their salaries and other niceties that they would have to forego without out money.
You ever had a hangover so bad that you would have rather had your head severed instead of actually being alive? Or have one of those evenings that turned out to be a once in a lifetime shot at acting as wild as you could? Well, I have never really experienced either of those, but I have experienced a few crazy Super Bowl Sundays.
No, not the redneck kind where everyone shouts cuss words at the TV while drunk and covered in potato chip crumbs. I am talking about the “man screaming at the TV while spilling his soda and dropping his pizza” kind. Yeah, that was me yesterday.
And given the emotional context of the game I am surprised I made it until 10:00 PM without melting into a puddle of self pity and uncontrolled whining while curled up in the fetal position in the corner sucking my thumb. But seeing as it was a rough day for millions of people across the country you would think that “the day after” would be a freebie for everyone in the US. I mean seriously, pretty much the entire country watches the Super Bowl right? And pretty much everyone gets into it somehow, whether it be drinking, eating, screaming, fighting, kissing, fighting, screaming or fighting, right? Why not let us have today off?
Not only that, but in the world of competitive commerce you get what you pay for. How many companies are paying for their employees to do nothing but sit on their rumps and either talk about how much they won or lost on the game or what they would have done different if they were the coach or the players. I mean come on, everyone knows that there is absolutely no work done the day after the Super Bowl. Why make us come in?
Of course I am being facetious, but when you think about, I do have a point, don’t I?
Today was our annual awards ceremony for work. In the past this ceremony was held at various venues, including the Marriott hotel, in grand fashion with lots of fanfare and hoopla. Sometimes these events would span days as salespeople and administrators would come together before and after the ceremony to set goals for the future and compare milestones form the year.
But economic times being what they are it was no wonder that this year our annual awards ceremony was held at the Oakland Scottish Rite Center near Lake Merritt. Not to say that this year’s meeting was any worse than any other year, but it certainly was different.
In years past the company would put on a nice breakfast spread and have the hall set up to handle the entire company (about 650 people) all in one banquet/meeting hall. After breakfast the ceremony would start followed up by a nice lunch after which we would be allowed to leave for the day. We would also almost always be treated to some little knick knack (or swag, as it were) as we entered the building or left the building.
But this year it was different. This year there was no swag. There was no breakfast. There were donuts, and a box lunch, but not all the hoopla and craziness that usually went along with this event.
And you know what? It was nice. I could probably have done without the bus ride in and out of the event but even that was not that bad. It saved me gas and the stress of trying to find parking. And it kept me out of the headache of fighting the nasty rainy morning traffic that our poor bus driver had to endure.
So considering the times in which we live and the freefall our economy is in right now I have to say that my company did a great job putting on a kick butt ceremony. To those that planned it, well done. I enjoyed it.
I upgraded my installation of WordPress to 2.7 today at the behest of WordPress 2.6 and I am enjoying all of the newest little features of the app. I am not sure if WordPress felt it was in need of a face lift or if it just needed to feel the excitement of youth again, but this is a mid-life crisis I can see having a lasting consequence.
When you log in to the new admin panel the first thing you notice is the change of color and scenery. Gone are the beautiful contrasting blues and oranges with big lettered phrases and invitations. Gone is the horizontal navigation bar with all the easy to reach features of the dashboard.
Now what used to be a pretty interface is a nice monochromatic splash of what TV used to look like in the 50′s. Of course, this gray on gray action does offer a lot of whiz-bang, but looks very gray. Did I mention it is gray?
It’s all good though, because now I can move a box here or there that I did not want there or here before. And I also have these outrageous gray outlined icons in my admin lists as well, which makes the already prominent gray just a little more gray.
So I am undecided for the time being. I am sure that I will come around to the newest version of WordPress. I did when WP2.0 came out. It took a while, but I did come around. I am just hoping that at some point the WP development team will decide to make admin themes a part of WordPress. If I was able to make my own admin theme or find one on the internet, well, then I would be utterly happy about this update.
Until then, I think I will go practice my Eeyore voice and ponder when the sun will be coming out again.
Someone with whom I communicate on Twitter sent me this video because he knows my position on proposition 8. Anyone who reads this blog knows my position on marriage and if it is not blatantly obvious by this video, my position is contrary to his. He asked that I watch the video being a supporter of proposition 8. So I did, because as much as I believe, strongly, in the marriage covenant being between a man and woman I am interested in other people’s views on the matter, if for no other reason than to dispell some misconceptions about Prop 8, Christianity, religion and bigotry.
Have a look over this video. In it Keith Olbermann speaks rather passionately about his position on proposition 8 and his confusion over the people of California’s decision to protect marriage as being between a man and a woman. He asks some rather poignant questions that I think many people in the Yes on 8 camp have either evaded or turned into some form of personal attack. I hope that I can offer at least a glimpse into some of the reasoning that some of those that support prop 8 base our decision on. Understand that I do not feel in any way that I need to explain myself nor do I feel it my purpose to ensure understanding of my viewpoint. Keith Olbermann asks good questions. I wanted to answer them.
So many people have made their feelings known about marriage and proposition 8 without really addressing why they are for or against it. Some supporters of the proposition say that it is because gay marriage will teach our kids things in school that we have no right to protect them from. I do not agree with this as this measure was not at all about gay marriage but about protecting marriage as being between a man and a woman.
Many opponents to proposition have stated that it eliminates civil rights or discriminates against a certain group of people. I tend to not agree with this. There are plenty of circumstances in which a particular group of people are not entitled to the same eligibility as another group of people, even within the context of the constitution, that saying that this proposition eliminates rights or discriminates is simply rubbish in my opinion.
But even if what I think means nothing to you or if what I write in response seems like senseless dribble, at the very least, you will be treated to a very passionate display of Keith Olbermann’s feelings on the matter of opening marriage to people of the same gender.
Why does this matter to you?
As a Christian man I have to say that it matters because marriage is a covenant given to man and woman ordained by God the father as a gift to his creation. Woman was created from man for man – Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” [Genesis 2:18]. As a result of this creation God established that For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh [Genesis 2:24]. God does not make any provision for man to leave his mother and father and be joined to his husband. Plain and simple, it is not in God’s plan.
But setting aside my spiritual beliefs, there is nothing at all that tells me that a man and a woman should united in marriage the way that my wife and I are. A man uniting with another man in matrimony cannot ever be attained in similitude to the way a man unites with a woman in matrimony. Other than the two being people, similarity of matrimony stops there. If it were an issue of sex then there perhaps might be some similarity between the two, but marriage, and prop 8, are not about sex lest it become about homosexuality, which it isn’t. A man, by his very physical natural attributes, cannot be joined in marriage to another man the way a man can join with a woman in marriage, nor can a woman be joined in marriage with another woman for the same reason.
Lastly, it matters to me because by those same physical attributes men and women were naturally made for one another. Even if you are atheist you have to be able to look at male and female and know they were created to be (or evolved into being, if that is your way of thinking) made for the compliment of one another. Woman was made for man and man, for woman. It is plainly visible and unquestionably obvious.
What if someone passed a law that said that you couldn’t marry?
There are laws that say you can’t marry. You cannot marry your siblings, your parents or other married people. You cannot marry children. What is the point of this question?
While I am on this point, why does everyone insist on making an association of same gender couples with African Americans? How the hell are these two groups of people similar? There isn’t a black person alive today that chose to be black before he or she was born. The struggle that the black community fought was not because of choices they made but because of the color of their skin, a condition they had no say in. Homosexual people, and those people that seek marriage between members of the same gender, cannot be compared to slaves, to minorities or to any other group in which the condition they suffered was outside of their control. If you are homosexual it is because you choose that lifestyle.
If you want to share yourself physically with a member of the same gender so be it. I cannot, nor will I, tell you to do otherwise. I will pray for you because I love you, and though I do not condone that lifestyle it is not my place to tell you do to otherwise. I do things myself that I don’t agree with, and for that I repent. But in all cases it is my choice. People of the same gender that choose to become united in a formalized relationship choose to do so. Why would anyone expect that their choice should receive special privileges and rights?
And lastly on this topic, Keith Olbermann said something that I find to be astonishingly stupid and offensive. He said that marriages between slaves were not recognized just like marriages today in California are not recognized because people are gay. Is he seriously trying to say that homosexual people are on par with the slaves? Seriously? If I was black I would be offended beyond belief. I am Mexican and I am offended by that statement. That was just wrong.
Don’t you as human beings have to embrace that love?
Human beings don’t have to do anything. But in this case I am not one to say that you cannot love someone. I love many men. Not in a sexual or physical way. I will not tell you that you cannot love someone of the same gender as you. And if you choose to love someone of your gender in a sexual or physical way then so be it. Again, I will pray for you because I love you. But I will not at all say that I think a man should be allowed to marry another man because he loves him. Love him if you want to. Marriage is between a man and a woman.
This is what your religion tells you to do?
(This question was following the statement: With so much hate in the world, with so much meaningless division and people pitted against each other for no good reason,).
This depends entirely on the religion being addressed by this question. I am familiar with two religious theologies: Catholicism and Christianity, so I cannot speak for others, but there is nothing in the Christian bible that tells us to hate. There is nothing in the bible that tells us to pit ourselves against any person. We battle against principalities not people: For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds [2 Cor 10:4] and For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places [Eph 6:12].
Make no mistake about it, if you are a Christian you are in this battle. But at the same time if you are a Christian then you are also in a battle to love everyone: You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD [Lev 19:18] while at the same time making sure that we do not fall into the trap of believing everything we see and hear: Let none of you think evil in your heart against your neighbor; And do not love a false oath. For all these are things that I hate,’ Says the LORD [Zec 8:17]. Even Christ Himself spoke these words: You shall love your neighbor as yourself [Matt 22:39].
There is really no room to go into the topic of spiritual warfare within the context of this response, but believe you me, there are a number of spiritual wickednesses that Christians must be aware and must fight. Some are within our own Christian family. Some are even within ourselves. None of them are with a person or people though. We love everyone, hate no one and fight like hell for the salvation of all, praying without ceasing for those that we love, which all mankind. There is no place for hate in a Christian’s life. But like I said, I cannot speak for all religions. I do know that I do not hate anyone though, so this question of Keith Oblermann’s gets a resounding NO from me as an answer.
Quote me anything from your religious … book … telling you to stand against this…
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach;
12 Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
1 Timothy 3
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
1 Corinthians 7:2
Those who are sinning rebuke in the presence of all, that the rest also may fear.
1 Titus 5:20
Christians stand against any concept of marriage that is anything other than man and woman. Marriage is described only between a man and a woman in the bible. Anyone that tries to make marriage anything other than what the bible says it is is sinning and we are to rebuke the sin. Love the sinner not the sin. That is why we stand.
… and how you can believe that and still believe the statement “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”?
The answer is simple. I want to be saved. I want to be righteous. Though I may not always achieve that status I want to attain to it. I want to glorify my God. If it means that someone in the body of Christ must call me out on my sin to the Glory of God so be it. That is what is supposed to happen. Love me enough to save me the way I love you enough to save you.
I would rather you hate me and be saved than have you love me and be lost. I will love you because I want because I want you to love me. I will do unto you what I would have you do unto me. I will love you.
Just remember that love does not equate to approval or agreement. I can love you, and you me, without agreeing with you or approving of your deeds. Such is the case in protecting marriage. I can love you if you are homosexual, I can love you if you are heterosexual, I can love you if you are bisexual and I can love you if you are asexual. But I cannot love the things you do if they are contrary to the Word of God.
I know that there are a lot of people that do not understand my viewpoint on this subject. There are probably a good deal of Christians that are totally at peace with opening up marriage to people of the same gender. I am sure there are atheists or agnostics that are for protecting marriage. Whatever your viewpoint, please understand that Proposition 8 was not about homosexuality or the taking away of rights. It was and continues to be about protecting marriage as being between one man and one woman. The text of the law, the law that was overwhelmingly passed in 2000 and summarily overturned by four of the seven California Supreme Court justices, has not changed and not targeted any one group of people nor has it served to eliminate anybody’s rights. It simply recognizes marriage as being between a man and a woman.
I applaud Keith Olbermann for his video message. While I do not think it takes any guts whatsoever to use the liberal media to agree with the rest of the mainstream liberal agenda, I can say that his passion appeared honest and sincere. That is hard to find nowadays. It is something I wish more people had and something I pray I convey whenever I speak of my feelings. But neither his passion nor the protests nor the lawsuits not the continual comparison of homosexuality to ethnic heritage is enough, in my opinion, to convince the majority of the state of California to change the way we see marriage solely because a small population of people choose to do something outside the boundaries of marriage, as we see it, then expect the state to conform to their lifestyle.
As a Christian man, I try very hard to make sure I do things according to the Word that lives in me. Everything a Christian does is supposed to be done in love to the Glory of the Father. Love is the principle commandment given by Christ.
28 Then one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, perceiving that He had answered them well, asked Him, “Which is the first commandment of all?”
29 Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: “Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one.
30 And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment.
31 And the second, like it, is this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
It is by this love that I want to see all men and women saved. It is by this love that I confess my faith in the Lord Jesus. And it is by this love that I hold fast the gospel of the Lord. I do not judge you, I do not hate you. To the contrary, I love you very much.
My wife’s cousin that lives in San Francisco is going to be moving to Seattle at the end of the year. To celebrate this move (yes, it is a good thing) they held a barbecue at my wife’s parents house today. They could not have picked a better day to old this gathering either.
The weather was absolutely beautiful today. It was sunny with a slight breeze. It was warm but not hot. It was just awesome. Actualy, it was perfect for a gathering of family for food and fellowship.
The burgers were awesome, the appetizers were awesome, the beer was awesome, the wine was awesome.
I mean really, there was not a thing wrong with this day. The kids had a great time, the adults had a great time. It was just an all around wonderful day. I wish it could have lasted longer.
And I really wish I would have found my sister’s truck keys. It has been almost a week now. And the only reason I am thinking about them now is that last Sunday when I left my in-law’s house I had them.
Yesterday was an especially crappy day for me. Again, not to whine too much, but…
I woke up early and got ready to go to work. I got myself dressed and prepared like I normally do. I made coffee put all my stuff in my pockets. All my stuff, that is, except for the keys to my sister’s truck.
I could not, for the life of me, figure out where those keys went. I looked all over the house, all over my Suburban, all of the yard, all over everywhere and the keys did not turn up.
Eventually I had to give up the search for the keys for the morning because I needed to get to work. I had to have my wife drive me to work and drop me off. Which is no easy feat seeing as she had to take the kids to their school, which is in Hayward, then drive me to my office, which is in Concord. Which meant that I did not get to work until about 10:30 yesterday morning.
And which also meant that I had no vehicle yesterday. At all.
Fortunately for me I was able to work something out that resulted in me being able to get to work with a minimum of fuss. But I have to tell you that this has been a very stressful time for me. This just adds so much more to the pile of crap I have been wading through the last couple of months.
Yesterday I spent some time with the folks at work visiting the home and family of Steven Shephard, my coworker that past away earlier this week. It was a touching time, and a time that gave me even more perspective.
I found out things about my coworker that I had never knew before. Like he was an avid sports fan. And he loved to play the guitar. I knew he was into boating, but I had never known about his love of sports and guitar. I worked with him for a year and never knew these things about him.
I wonder how many other people we interact with regularly whose lives we never bother to look into. This can be looked at from both positive and negative viewpoints in that there are probably some people with whom we have regular contact that we might have facets of their lives that really should not mix with yours. Then again there are people with whom you have regular interaction whose lives you might not know anything about but that happen to live very interesting lives that would surely enrich your life should the opportunity arise to commingle with that person.
So I am somewhat saddened that I did not take the time to learn more about Steve. I should have. And I will for sure take some time to learn more about my coworkers from now on. I spend the better part of my day with them. I should know who I am working with.
Steve’s family is awesome by the way. I met his wife, his brother-in-law and several other members of his family. They are a great bunch. And I am sure they are going to miss Steve terribly. So will all of us at work.