Homeschooling humor
Another gem from my uber-smart, ridiculously sexy, incredibly funny wife, Sandi:
Moving on to social studies…..Rebekah groggily walks into the living room and with a scowl on her face, plops onto the couch, and proceeds to mumble every offense each sibling has done to her, leading up to being awoken by them. She will make a great prosecuting attorney someday with that memory. Some are born mediators, some learn how to mediate and moms have mediation thrust upon them. I now have the job of hearing Rebekah’s feelings and having grace with my younger kids without having them all turn on me for not taking their particular side, while managing to keep my two-year-old from being permanently traumatized by the fan incident and my four-year-old from becoming a sadist. I really need to get to my coffee. In the meantime, Alaynah and Adriannah have managed to top their cookies with the remainder of the whipped cream that my son had had with his breakfast, and by remainder I mean the cookie is no longer visible amidst the cream. Apparently Aaron had only gotten a couple of squirts out of a brand new can, much to Adriannah and Alaynah’s delight. Nutrition, or lack thereof, has been taken care of. I send everyone back to their corners, meaning beds, and while I’d love to send my son back to his, his half-nelson grip around me allows me to have my hands free to do other things.
The Homeschool Family
Every now and again my wife finds something that knocks my socks off. This is one of those somethings:
Hasta luego cocodrilo
While sitting on the couch with my wife last night I, as usual and for no known reason, began to start talking in my Spanish drunkard voice. It is really funny, especially when I lisp and pretend to walk all wobbly. But I digress, the funny last night came from my wife.
While sitting there speaking drunken Spanish I couldn't help but be stumped by the fact that I did not know how to say crocodile in Spanish. Why in the bloody crud would I need to know how to say crocodile in Spanish, you might ask? Well, because. I wanted to say "See you later alligator, after while crocodile" in Spanish. No, I don't know how to say alligator in Spanish. And I did not know how to say crocodile either.
Until my wife helped me out.
She knew rather quickly that the Spanish word for crocodile is cocodrilo. And how does my wife know this? She is smart, that's how.
And she watches Dora the Explorer with my four year old daughter Alaynah. Apparently Dora knows a lot of stuff in Spanish. And she teaches my household some of that Spanish daily.
So I have to ask the question... when I was in school, where was Dora for me?
Homeschooling humor
Brought to you by my smart, funny, beautiful, cute, sexy, sultry wife Sandi:
Thinking about the humor of homeschooling……a typical day…….Mom wakes up, and regardless of how early she’s up someone is always up before that. Our two-year-old son Aaron is usually the one, but since he’s the youngest of five he learned a long time ago that he’s on his own for some things, so he’s already been in the fridge and helped himself to a nice breakfast of bologna, jelly, and broccoli, topped with a little whipped cream. Next comes the four-year-old, Purple Princess Alaynah, who needs at least three cups of coffee (or an hour) to feel human, and proceeds to hang on my leg as I’m cleaning up the remainder of Aaron’s breakfast from the wall. While Aaron is licking the whipped cream of his fingers, he notices that his sister has now occupied what he believes to be his leg and forgetting the task he’s been busy with, he begins to scream (MY TURN!!!!) and push his sister off. A bar fight breaks out. This wakes up the seven-year-old Adriannah. As the resident pastry chef and technology buff she asks for a cookie while she listens to the iPod. Mind you, it is now 6 a.m. I, already feeling outnumbered and underarmed, concede to the cookie-and-techie request (hey, at least she’s eating) and attempt to shake the two youngest from my leg as I stumble toward the coffee pot. Just one cup, and then maybe I can open my eyes all the way.
Over the din of “MY TURN!” and “Can I have a cookie too? Annah has one, I want one,” and “MY COOKIE!” I manage to pour myself a cup of coffee. Now that the three awake children have had their morning sugar intake, Aaron has decided to climb up onto the table and is now swinging from the ceiling fan. Seeing the opportunity for academic experimentation, Alaynah seizes it and turns on the fan. Aaron begins to laugh, and then a look of terror creeps into his face as he realizes that the speed is increasing. The law of brothers and sisters says that as one is deathly afraid, the other must be equally and oppositely gleeful in direct response to the other’s fear. That means that Alaynah is laughing with delight in her revenge on her brother for his taking over my leg. She now feels human. Deserting my uncreamed, unsugared coffee, I run to turn the fan off, comfort my terrified son, and discipline Alayah as I am torn between anger and laughter. Physics have now been completed for the day for the younger two and for myself, as it defies physics for anyone to move that fast without caffeine. Annah is blissfully unaware due to her strategic use of the iPod.
Planning a school year
For those of you with children, this might seem a little different. My wife and I spent the better part of today planning our children's school year.
For those that might not know, we homeschool our kids. We have always homeschooled our kids. Yes, we live in quite possibly the most awarded and highly desirable school district in the Bay Area. But we, my wife and I, have evaluated the local public school system for a long time now and every year we decide that teaching our children at home is just the right thing to do.
We have no need for a "No gang related colors allowed to be worn at school" policy. We have no need for an "Alternative lifetstyle education" program at our school. We totally encourage saying the Pledge of Allegiance before school starts and we totally encourage prayer in school.
With that, I have to say that there are things my wife and I have to do in order to make sure our kids get educated throughout the year. This is something that all parents should do, not just homeschooling parents. We plan the school year for our children.
We are doing Science, History, Math, Character, Language, PE, Drama and Electives for each of our school age children this year. Sarah is in sixth grade, Rebekah is in fifth grade, Adriannah is in second grade and Alaynah is in preschool. Today we designed a teaching schedule that includes all of the kids and essentially sets the foundation for our school year.
Do you know what your kids will be learning this year?
We have chosen to take a vested interest in our children's education. All parents should. A number of parents we talk to that have kids in the public school system have no idea what classes their child is taking, let alone the curriculum in those classes. They have no idea what field trips the child will be taking or who the teacher is or what new policies the school implemented this year. We know all these things about our kids school. We run the school.
So now that our school year is planned out, we have a few more things to prepare. Like the first month's labs, experiments, activities and co-ops we'll be doing. And who we might be doing some of this with. The coolest thing though... we get to actually be involved in the education of our children. Without a doubt, that is one of the coolest things a parent can give their child.
I’m just a Bob, er, Bill
This little NetFlix deal we signed up for is pretty cool. It is fast, correct and allows me to watch anything I want.
Well, almost anything. The account is actually my wife's account. She got it shortly after she canceled cable. So needless to say, our movie selection is largely driven by her evening movie tendencies. She frequently orders movies for the kids, however, so they can have something new to watch at the same time we do.
So today we received 'School House Rocks'. You remember those cool little 3 minute movies that teach you stuff in between cartoons of the Road Runner blowing up Wile E. Coyote in his own traps or Bugs Bunny getting Daffy Duck shot in the face by Elmer Fudd in a rendition of "Duck Season/Wabbit Season"? Did you know that there are over to hours of those little short teaching movies?
Me neither. In fact I was astonished at finding that out. I thought there were like four episodes. It blew my mind. In a good way.
So we started watching them tonight. And boy did it bring back a lot of memories. I had a blast. And since we are metering the kids movie time with this one, I can't wait until tomorrow nights portion of the show.
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Now playing: Pavlo - Latin Love
via FoxyTunes
Testing our Knowledge of States
So I gave the kids a quick quiz yesterday. Basically it was to see how far along they have come in their learning of the United States and their capitols. And I gotta tell you, I am pretty amazed.
Not that I should be, seeing as my kids have always shown me that they are not your typical kids when it comes to learning. But they were given a list of 50 states and 50 capitols last Friday and as of last night Sarah knew 75% of her capitols and Rebekah knew 85%. Even Adrianna, my six year old, knew about 15 of the 50 state captiols. Is that cool or what?
Anyway, enough bragging on the kids (but really though, is there ever really enough bragging to be done on the kids?). There are things to do and no one else but me to do them, so I should go. Just thought I'd throw that out there.
FTR: -2/18
Walking, Working Some States, Washing
Yesterday was a very packed day. It started out by me getting up and getting breakfast going. Mmm, pancakes. With lots of flavorful syrups (maple, of course, and blueberry and strawberry). Then I got the kitchen (well, dishes anyway) cleaned up. Then I rested.
After that we took a walk to out closest 7-11 store where the kids got to each get a slushie drink. If you have children you know that their favorite flavor is rainbow: that mixture of all available flavors in the spinning thingers. So we picked up a bag of Funyuns and sat outside the 7-11 munching and planning the rest of our walk. We had a bit going on, so we decided we would take a decent route, but nothing too long.
So we set out on a journey that led us down the big street that the college is on. We walked that for a few blocks and found a few shops we didn't know were there (but that we will certainly be going to back to visit) before we turned down a side street, hit the little path by the creek and walked home. All in all, it was about an hour and a half of well spent walking time with the family, whilst we talked about stuff and practiced state capitols.
I am truly amazed at how fast my kids can learn stuff. I just gave them the list of states and capitols last on Friday night and they are already picking up most of it. I will be interested in seeing if by next Friday they can have done what I gave them to do. I know they can do it, but I really want to see it.
After our walk we came home and rested a little more, then got our laundry together. You see, our washing machine broke down a few days ago and so we have to go to the laundromat to wash our clothes. That's OK, I guess. For now. I think we will be getting a new machine in a couple of weeks. That is an expense I was just dying to have, you know?
Anyway, before the laundromat, I cooked us up some turkey burgers and hot dogs, to which my family promptly responded with grubbing the lot of the food. I guess that is what it was there for, but man that was a lot of food to go down like that.
So it was off to the laundromat where we spent about an hour and about $13 doing wash. The nicest thing about it all though, was the fact that the time was well spent with my wife. We are sorely in need of some time together and that little snip was much needed. Of course, an hour is very short when you want the hour to last 10, but hey, I am happy with what I got so I can't (and won't) complain.
After laundry it was back to the pad where we began the task of drying said laundry, and preparing for today, which was really not a whole lot of anything really, except more housework and laundry folding.
But I suppose it could have been worse. I could be living in a van down by the river.
FTR: 1/15
