Yesterday morning I stood on the scale knowing that I had to have gained 50 pounds over the last two days. I have eaten like crap and was feeling like an even fatter turd than I already am. Not wanting to face off with my epic failure I decided to close my eyes and get on the scale.
To my amazement I had actually lost 2 pounds since last week. That’s right. I am now at 300.5 pounds. Yes, I am still fat. But I am losing weight still. And I am not trying that hard to do it.
So I made a promise to myself. I will start trying now. I have lost about 20 pounds without putting any real effort into it. Since that makes me sick just thinking about it, I believe now is a good time to start applying myself.
I am planning on making Friday mornings my official weigh-in morning. I am going to start charting, honestly, what my weight is so I can make a visible, conscious effort to maintain a steady loss. I am going to try to lose weight.
I have done this before. I have mentioned before that in 2002 I lost an incredible 107 pound between January and October of that year. It was a pretty consistent 2.5 pounds per week for 40 weeks. I want that again. I want to be the good looking, healthy, slender male what I was at the end of that run. I want to fit into a size 32 pants again. I want to be able to wear a size “L” shirt. I want to be able to shop at Macy’s. I want to be a better me physically.
I am committing myself to it. And I am a little nervous because I really have no time for me right now. I am just hoping that I will be able to steal myself away from everything else long enough to give myself some much needed attention. So the next time you are having drinks, toasting one another or otherwise remembering folks, remember me and wish me luck. I would really love to be able to write about this again months from now being 2/3 the size that I am now.
I am not trying, but it seems that the more terrible food I eat nowadays the more weight I am losing. I am not sure how this works, but it is working. And I am not complaining.
In my defense I am not eating terrible ALL the time. I have actually cut back quite a bit on high sodium foods, fast food and high fat foods. I have also started drinking a ton of water every day. This has helped tremendously.
One thing I have yet to do is get back to the gym. I want to. Ever so badly. But life situations do not allow for that at the moment. But I will get back there soon enough. And I am sure when I do I will lose even more weight.
Until then though I am happy with the way things are going. I am not feeling driven by weight loss, I am not feeling deprived or hungry.
I am, however, feeling better about myself since my clothes is feeling better and I am feeling better. I am hoping that changes for the better when things start heating up with me losing weight. But like I said, until then I am still happy.
And I am still wanting junk food late at night. But at least now I am telling myself no. Usually. 
PS It wasn’t a huge loss from the last time, but this weekend I was at 304.5. A loss is a loss. Especially when you are not trying all that hard.
I am not sure how to break this to you, so I am just going to do it quickly, like pulling a band-aid off.
I am fat.
There. I said it.
A few weeks ago I went to the doctor because I thought I was at risk of heart disease. What transpired there was essentially my doctor diagnosing with a condition known in the medical realm as “being a fat ass”.
I was also diagnosed with slightly higher than normal blood pressure which my doctor attributed to a high salt intake. All in all, the doctor told me that I need to cutback on my sodium and that I needed to lose weight.
It was then that my wife and I went into action. We both started looking for low sodium, low fat and lower calorie foods for me. And we managed to do something good.
When I was at the doctor four weeks ago I weighed in that morning at just over 320 pounds. That’s right, you heard. That is “Fat Ass and None of your Business” pounds.
This morning I weight myself and, after a harrowing weekend of eating crapola on a platter of more crapola, I was 306.5. Not bad, eh?
I have actually noticed a change in my clothes, my belt and overall feeling. I feel a lot better about me.
Yes, I am still fat. But not as fat.
And that makes me happy.
Now if I could only figure out how I am going to be working a work out routine into this mix I would be golden. But I think the baby steps I am taking now are working out fairly well.
We’ll see a little better how well in a few weeks when I head back to the doctor.
So I weighed myself this morning. Mostly because I have been feeling the push to lose weight again, partly because I feel like I am going to die of a heart attack at any given moment. Anyhow, I looked at the scale and, well, every now and again we have to see things we don’t want to see so we know what we are up against. I am up against 329.5 pounds.
2002
For Christmas 2001 my brother bought me a membership to Weight Watchers. At first I was a little miffed, but after he decided to go with me to the meetings, I was all in. We began attending in January 2002. I weighed 317 pounds. 40 weeks later (Weight Watchers terms at the time made it more cost effective to buy membership in 10 week chunks) I weighed 210 pounds. I want that back. So I am going to go get it.
2007
Fast forward to now, a new year and new and exciting opportunities. I am looking forward to losing weight. To getting back into the gym. To being able to run 3.5 miles in less than 30 minutes (yes, that is good times for me). I want to fit into my ‘handsome man’ clothes again. I want to feel healthy. Does anyone want to join me?
I am looking for people that wouldn’t mind helping me stay accountable. I have my family to help me, and I think my coworkers are willing to help. But there is something about revealing your weight and progress to a group of people that makes you not want to gain weight. It worked for me at Weight Watchers. And I am sure it will work for me here.