One man’s voice

John Joseph Huber

Posted on August 12th, 2005 in General

I am sure everyone is aware that it is awfully hard to find out that your unborn may be very sick when and if he is born. And I am sure that everyone knows that it would be doubly hard to go through the birth of your child and have to release him to God about a month later. Yes, that in itself, could destroy some families. But some pay no attention to the fact that this child now had to have a funeral, a burial and formal sending off. And fewer people take note that after the flowers have wilted and the pictures have been put away, a family still needs to go on living with a substantial absence in their family. This is the area where I feel the Hubers testimony takes on a life of its own.

He leads me beside the still waters
No person should ever have to bury their child. In this day and age, with technology being what it is, you would think that no matter the issue, medical science should be able to adequately handle it. When I saw what baby John went through I was upset. Upset at the doctors, at medicine, at science and generally everything.

My wife was terribly upset by John’s death. It was a difficult time for our family because our best friends were going through something that no one should have to go through and we felt totally unarmed in the battle they were waging. But in the days following John’s death it became apparent that God had shown His grace upon Ray and CeeCee.

Leading up to the funeral and during the funeral itself Ray and CeeCee were models of loving yet grieving parents. When the entire room at the funeral home had tears plastered across their faces, Ray and CeeCee kept cool. They did not lose control, they were respectful of people, they were kind. These are not normal traits found in parents that just a few days earlier lost a baby. But they were, for the time, at peace.

Do I think they were at peace with everything? Heavens no, how could anyone be at peace with the death of their baby? But God used that couple during a time when everyone had questions. There was no doubt that a loving and gracious God had done a mighty work in that entire family. People saw that there was a God when they looked at Ray and CeeCee. And while, at that point, the Hubers had not had enough time to breath let alone grieve, they were no doubt in a for a journey of acknowledging and healing a severe emotional pain.

And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever
When a person experiences loss it is a lot like a major physical injury. You immediately realize that there is something wrong. Then after the initial pain subsides a bit, you begin to go into shock so that the initial pain you felt isn’t quote as strong. This is a dangerous time in my opinion because you are hurt. You might not feel it. You might not check the hurt out to see if it is still there. But until it is healed the hurt is there.

I know this from personal experience having lost several close family members myself through the years. I have family that never coped with the loss of loved ones and it tore them up. People are a little predictable this way, but it seems that if the hurt is not handled or at least acknowledged, people will try to cover it up with some other form pain or pleasure. Emotional pain is not something that goes away because you throw yourself at a bottle, or at a person, or at work or anything else that takes your mind off it. Emotional pain only heals after it is recognized, treated and allowed to heal over time.

So with that I would challenge you, if you know of a friend or family member that is grieving right now because of a loss of a loved one, call them up. Show up at their house one weekend and offer to do something for them. Tell them you love them. When the shock wears off and reality sets in, they will need you. I did and I know others do, too.

As I complete this, I am further saddened by the fact that our very best friends are leaving the area. The family is packing up and are in search of a prime piece of land in a place other than California to continue to grow their family. My heart aches to know they will not be just down the street. But I am at peace right now. God has given them this direction. And what the Lord wants done He gets done, with or without our input.

But I will always look for those days when we can get together and fellowship. I will always long for those days when I can just be around other people of faith that share a like mind and, like me, hurt when it is time to hurt and smile when it is time to smile.

I miss baby John. I will miss Ray, CeeCee and the Huber family. But I praise God that I have had the opportunity to know them all as I have. My life, and I am sure others’ lives, have been touched greatly by these folks.

Robert Gonzalez

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