13 years is a long time for someone that is just over 30 years old. It is a decade and a third. It is how many years come after a dozen years. It is a long time to be married for most folks and it certainly is a long time for me.
I have been working on my first (and only) marriage for the last 13 years. I got married at the age of 20 to my high school sweetheart who, at the time, was 18 years old. The story is here for those that really want to read a short blurb about how we got hitched.
While I wish I could say that our marriage has been rosy all over the place all I can really say is that we are both entirely too stubborn to throw in the towel. Because of this stubborn streak and an unusual desire to not be another one of those “divorcees” we have stuck it out. Sometime against our better judgment, sometimes amid tears and packed, sometimes amid the worst a married person could bring to the marriage.
We have pretty much done it all. And we have laughed and cried and fought and screamed and hugged and loved and hated and loved and hugged and loved each other throughout this entire ordeal, erm, marriage of ours.
We have had some pretty great years together (1995, 2000, 2002, 2005) and we have had some pretty bad years (1995, 2000, 2002, 2007, 2008). But we have always had each other. I have loved more than I have ever loved before and have been more frustrated than I have ever been before. I have felt loved, abandoned, cherished, betrayed, honored and taken advantage of. In essence, I have been part of a human relationship.
I love you Sandi Gonzalez. I am so thankful that you said yes (even if you didn’t know what you were getting into AND even if you would NOT do this all over again). I am proud to be your husband.
Happy Anniversary my lady. You mean the world to me and I am so happy that I can say we made it to 13 years.
Tonight my wife and I are supposed to be having a little bit of alone time together. Not a long time (the kids are due to be picked up from grandma’s at 7:00) but time enough.
I am planning on getting off of work early to begin the celebration. Celebration? Yes, celebration. See, this weekend marks our 13th wedding anniversary. So we are celebrating our anniversary this weekend. Starting tonight.
So it should go without saying that my posts this weekend will be scant at best. There is actually a lot going on this weekend but for tonight, it is just me and my wife. And Taco Bravo. And no kids.
Today I had the pleasure of attending an anniversary party. I was a great party for a great anniversary. My aunt Connie celebrated her 50th wedding anniversary to my Uncle Manuel. Yep, you heard me. 50 years.
50 years is 17 years longer than I have been alive. It is half a century. It is five decades. It is enough time for three generations to pass. It is, in a few words, a long freaking time.
As I was at my aunt’s house I couldn’t help but wonder how many people nowadays enter into matrimony with their beloved with an expectation that their marriage will last until death. I think more people are of the mindset that they will stay married as long as the other person doesn’t screw up and makes them feel good about the marriage.
I know that views of marriage today are not what they used to be. In the 50’s, when you said “I do” that meant “you did”. There were not a whole lot of “re”marriages. Now it seems like you almost have to go through at least one to get to one that will work for you. It is a little sad really.
I would be remiss if I did not mention that I have had my share of questionable moments in my marriage. A lot can happen in (almost) 13 years. A lot of bad decisions can be made. A lot of nasty thoughts can be hatched. A lot of feelings can be hurt.
I can say, too, that I have never really wanted my marriage to end. I have considered what life would be like as a divorcee. I have considered what it would be like to be on the business end of one of those “it’s not working out” discussions. And I have totally contemplated being on the giving end of that very conversation.
There are no situations though in which I have actually thought about being single again. Am I weird for that? Are there people out there that really give marriages the level of priority it deserves?
Well, I know my aunt and uncle do. To you two, happy anniversary. No, wait, happy 50th anniversary.
