Tonight I was walking out the door to go to the store when I saw a package on the ground. Not recognizing what it was I decided to pick it up and look it over. It was a sample from Safeway, our local grocery store.
What was it a sample of, you might ask, knowing that something normal would never get me to write about in my blog?
You’re going to love this…
It was an Always pad. With wings.
Now that, in and of itself, isn’t ridiculously funny. The kids thought it was a blast. At least that is what my wife told me. But there was something that I found to be terribly funny about it.
You see, Safeway sent it to me. That’s right. A pad. Addressed to a Mr. Robert Gonzalez.
Anyone have any ideas what I can do with one of these things?
The other day I received an email that detailed how similar politicians are no matter where around the world they may be. I thought that certainly Americans had the upper hand when it came to our elected leaders being political. I may have been wrong.
It seems that Senator Bob Collins from Australia is the example to follow when being political. He recently gave an interview regarding a tanker ship that experience a horrific accident at sea. The accident, one in which the front of the ship detached allowing 20 million tons of crude oil to spill into the sea, happened near Australia.
You gotta see this…
Amazing, isn’t it? I have yet to see an American politician pull something like off.
Side bar: If you hadn’t guessed while watching the clip, it is a satire by John Clarke and Bryan Dawe, an Australian comedic duo that have been doing satires of weekly events, called the 7.30 report, for some time now. You gotta admit, they are darn funny.
When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich’s house was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide-screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even left his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was a generic white cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder. (That’s at least the way the
police report described it.)
A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said, ‘it looked similar to high-grade cocaine and they probably thought they’d hit the big time. Later, Nathan stood in front of the numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars: “Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She
died three years ago.”
The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan’s doorstep. The cardboard box was there too; about half of Gertrude’s ashes remained. Scotch-taped to the box was this note: “Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry
we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day.”
Now I am no fool. I know that since it came through my email it must be true. But the smart guy in me told me that this sounded like the stuff of urban legends, so putting my skepticism to work (sorry intarwebs but I had to) I started doing some research.
The first thing I asked myself was can this really happen? I answered that pretty readily by explaining to myself that yes, criminals are really that stupid. And many could easily mistake cremated human remains for cocaine. Especially since it was hidden so inconspicuously in an urn.
But then I thought to myself what is the likelihood of this happening? And for the answer to that, I had to look the infallible intarwebs square in the eye and humbly ask it if it could look something up for me.
It did it, albeit hesitantly.
And you know what? Other peoplehave also receivedthis same email about Nathan Radlich. So I stopped thinking that I was special. And I started looking a little harder at whether this was really true.
And I found out it wasn’t. The stinking emailwebs lied to me. Not the intarwebs. No, the intarwebs stayed true and loyal and only gave me the truth (as it always does). But no such luck for emailwebs.
But its all good. Later on, when I pour a foedee on da floe foe mah dawg Hoochie, I will do the same for the emailwebs.
Quite often I thank God that we live in a democracy where we, as a people, get to choose who governs us. It is somewhat empowering to know that those people that make the laws are drawn from the same pool of people who need those very laws in order to survive. Continue reading »
Anyone that has ever been into rock has had to have come across Pearl Jam at some point. I had my first taste of the band in 1992 during my first year at college.
I am not sure what it was that attracted me to the band. Perhaps it was Eddie Vedder’s angry voice or Stone Gossard’s crazy rifts. Maybe it was the way that Jeff Ament made his bass tell a story with each pluck of the string. I don’t know. All I know is that I fell in love with the band and they had a lasting influence on me and my musical tastes for a long time.
One of the songs in particular that moved me (many did, mostly from the Ten and Vs. albums seeing as I stopped following the band when I got married) is Yellow Ledbetter. It has the baddest guitar and bass rifts in it. And Eddie Vedder just screams his head off at the right times and slows it down at the other right times. It is a fricking great song.
However, something always haunted me about that song… I could never parse the lyrics for the song. I started trying in 1993 and have yet to get a complete glimpse of the actual words Eddie Vedder used when singing it.
But I am please to announce that someone has indeed managed to successfully fetch the lyrics to the song Yellow Ledbetter and has put them in a video with the song playing in the background. Many thanks for your hard work in this endeavor.
Without any further ado, here are the transcribed words for the song Yellow Ledbetter, with some minor inconsistencies (as should be expected when trying to understanding Eddie Vedder as he sings):
I couldn’t resist posting this. It is just that good.
If you have ever taken (not that much) higher level math this should have had you creaming all over yourself. If not then there is just something not right with you.